Walking

Poetry by | May 10, 2021

for Sofya

What does it mean for me to stand, feet slightly sloped,
on these rolling hills outside Tashkent? I come
out here, day after day, to count horses. Sometimes, there were
two, and most days when mist blinds the April sun, not
even one shows up. Regardless, they outnumber
trees in the picture. All year long, no trees for creatures
like me to hide, to make home the patches of shadows they
create for me to live, to live with. There are no horses
today, and yet I hear them gallop the un-watered grasslands
from a distance. This life of sun and land is empty.
The un-pictured barn is empty too. The small unhidden
house I refuse to see in the back has never been
this empty. Somewhere inside, the stretch of space of a tin can
I used to catch the sound of the lone wind is empty
as well. All the while, I slip to sleep standing mid-day
and never feel my skin burn, my wool sweater a bit damp
from the cold. I am just here, without an eye for
fullness, without any memory of what wants to be missed.


Ian writes from Cateel, Davao Oriental. He has an MA in Political Science from Central European University in Vienna and Budapest. Some of his works appeared in Dagmay, New Contrast and Voice & Verse.

 

The Bone Collector (part 2)

Nonfiction by | May 3, 2021

Mr. Blatchley visited us often. During his visits, I learned that he devoted himself to collecting debris of animals found in coastal areas or in jungles of places I had never heard of. He told us about his adventures, his finger trailing around his palm as he spoke. He looked like he was locating new bones to find on the map of his palm.

On some days, he would bring a couple of bread for us, tearing and spreading the paper bag on our table so that all of us could have a share. Bottles of fermented fish and a plate of burned rice didn’t disturb him as he sat with circles of light spat by the holes of our roof. I wished I had the courage that time to ask more about the complications he had survived before reaching this city. But I was more eager to know how he knew where we lived. Was our house a random spot in his never-ending map of discovery for bones?

 

Even before the bone collector heard about my Lola’s small business, we had already nailed a recatangular signage at our fence facing the road: For Sale: Frog Skeleton, Frog Alive. It was inscribed with a fancy depiction of stick drawings on both sides of the signage.  It was something I was never ashamed of. Lola had been doing this business before my siblings and I were born, with a help of a man suffering from a polio, who taught her how to debone. She had taught this skill to Mr. Blatchley who eventually became dear to us even if he never asked for our names.

He also became a friend of my half-brother, who sooner worked with him. They visited places and seas where whales and other trapped animals were found dead. A few years later Mr. Blatchley built his own museum at Bucana. It was named D’Bone Collector Musem with over 700 specimen. It instantly became a tourist spot here in Davao City.

 

One afternoon, during the celebration of my newphew’s christening, in a resort, I surprised to see the bone collector, bringing his family with him. It was the last time I saw him. My half-brother had stopped working in the museum, when he caught by the forbidden madness of this city.

I didn’t want to look for him. Maybe Lola would think that I miss the things that he had given me or the money he had offered her. So I kept my thoughts to myself and stared at our signage as often as I could, as if it was the landmark that the bone collector used to find us, and maybe, he could find us again.

What the signage kept reminding me was its message that our very own survival was rooted into something private. We have been surviving on our own with this peculiar business even before Mr. Blatchley came and gave us a taste of what could be a better life with higher business income. Or a better life with a father-figure.

 

I was often told by Lola and my half-brother to visit the museum, to look at how each animal, once lost in the entanglement of time and place, had been gathered for humanity to witness that life matters.

The bone collector had discovered a place where children wanted to escape from the misfortunes created by their fathers, the way I and my half siblings suffered. I had wondered what it felt like to be complete as a child, but it cannot be, even how many times I imagined it to happen. Some pieces of myself fell before I was aware of it.

Has something in me died? Did I need to be saved to tell people how dangerous or sad my younger years were? The only thing I am sure of is this: I am a person lost in the wildlife of my foolishness and happiness because some parts of me are still missing. My wholeness is yet to be found.

 

***

Neil Teves is a young writer from Davao. His two previous works of nonfiction appeared here Dagmay. He essay “Paghanaw sa Iyang Anino” will appear in the second volume of Libulan Queer Anthology of the South. He is involve in poverty alleviation charity.

 

The Bone Collector (part 1)

Nonfiction by | April 26, 2021

I met the bone collector when I was six or seven years old. He was tall. He wore a black shirt tucked in his loose brown cargo pants. On his belt, assorted keys along with tiny bones and sharp fangs of unknown creatures made clinking sounds as he moved. His body loomed over me as he dragged the dead crocodile inside our house to meet my Lola.

Mao ni akong ipatrabaho, nay,” said the bone collector. He spoke in Binisaya which surprised me. I had never met a foreigner who could speak my language fluently. “Pila man imong pangayo nay?”  he  asked as he spread his wallet that bulged with papers bills.

Baki ra man intawn akong ginaihaw dong. Kon kani, medyo dako akong singil,” Lola told him, assuring that she would be paid as soon as she would  be done deboning and assembling.  Then, the bone collector handed Lola a couple of one-thousand bills before he instructed lola to buy all the materials she needed.

 

I later found out that his name was Darrel Dean Blatchley, an American Marine Biologist who had been exploring the wildlife from different countries for a very long time. I wondered how he came here to Mindanao and settled particularly here in Davao City aside from the fact that he had married a Filipina.

Maybe someone had told Mr. Blatchley about my Lola—that she used to debone frogs and other animals for students taking medical courses like Nursing. Although the process had always been laborious for her part, the money paid to her was generous enough to support us.

No part of the bone must be lost, even the thinnest, tiniest on, I heard my Lola explain. She even  added that the arm, leg, and tail of the crocodile must be boiled to make it tender for deboning. Mr. Blatchley was attentive but he chimed in with a light joke once in a while. During his visits, I learned that he devoted himself to collecting debris of animals found in coastal areas or in the jungles of a far away place. He told us his adventures, his finger trailing around his palm as if it was a map.

It wasn’t too long before the crocodile was assembled. Each part was placed back from where it was taken. I could see he was amazed. When he left with the skeleton in his cab, I felt my heart sank. What if we would never see him again? What if Lola would never be paid with that kind of amount?

 

But Mr. Blatchley came back, bringing a black disposable bag that held a dead reindeer.

“Nagtuon naman diay imong apo,” Mr. Blatchley when he saw me gathering the plywood filled with bones of frogs.

Lola had always commanded me to separate the parts that were all scattered on a round wooden plank: limbs on the upper left; arms on the upper right; heads and pelvises at the center, making sure that they were lined accordingly to their sizes. I was often tasked to separate the bones, so lola wouldn’t find it difficult to match them.

Meanwhile, Mr. Blatchley asked if he could do it on his own. He reached for the Elmer’s glue and snatched a piece of cardboard from the pile next to me. He began to place the spine at the center, dropping a dew of glue at its two end points, so that the head, particularly the jaw would be attached to it. But the head was too large for the spine. I picked the smaller one, slowly putting it on his cardboard.

Kini and maigo diha kol o.” I blurted out. I should have not spoken to him, but it would have been a mistake if he forced those pieces to fit. I should have realized at that time, that some things were not meant to be pieced together.

 


Neil Teves is a young writer from Davao. His two previous works of nonfiction appeared here Dagmay. He essay “Paghanaw sa Iyang Anino” will appear in the second volume of Libulan Queer Anthology of the South. He is involve in poverty alleviation charity.

 

 

 

Sad Girl’s Love Song

Poetry by | April 19, 2021

She will not ask
you to stay.
Instead, she will ask you
to listen to her chants—
a hymn
of all the things
she will remember you by
when you decide to leave her.

She will start
with how the crescent moon
reminds her of your thin smile.
Then, of the warm glow
of the streetlamps at dusk
when you walk her home
to Obrero.

She will tell you
how the small scar
right below your nose
reminds her of lightning.

She will smile
fondly to herself
when you kiss her.
Your soft kisses
remind her that you could
love the beauty frightening things.

This way, she will not
grow fearful of the storm
that is her. This will make her march
to the thunder of her heart.

And when you finally decide
to leave her,
she will not remind you
how you made her feel safe
when you held her in your arms
as she clawed at her sheets
for warmth.

Instead, she will whisper
so close to your ear
until you hear a ghost of a cry,
that she built a fortress
on your arms
that she still calls
home.

 


Zakiyyah Sinarimbo is a coffee enthusiast by day, a law student by night. She is a mother to five cats.

 

 

 

Gumamela

Poetry by | April 19, 2021

Ang sa susama kong buyog mao’ng gapalipay
sa matag buntag nga paglupad ug sa iyang pagbukhad,
ug akong makita ang kanindot niini.
Samtang gakamang sa iyang gihay,
mga tag-as nga sagbot nga gapadayon
sa pagpanalipod sa iyang ka putli.
Hantod sa kami mag- inilugay.
Apan ako ang makadali-dali og tusok,
suyop nianang iyang duga
nga susama ang katam-is sa gilanay’ng asukal,
ug maoy mohupaw sa dughan kong gahinamham.
Apan sayod ako nga ang gumamela sa pagbukhad
Dili ta mag dugay. Kay kung mongitngit
ang adlaw, kini musira
ug dili na mag tingganay.

 


John Karl Butaslac is a Grade 12 Arts and Design Student (Literary Arts) from Davao City National High School.

Retard Stud

Poetry by | April 19, 2021

“Thrust of the spark that burns
Unbounds, departs, returns
To pluck out of death’s fist
A god who dared to resist”

—Ruben Cuevas, “Prometheus Unbound

Dayag ang dinanghag sa mga namakpak sa tikasan.
Ulipon sa mga atik ug alagad sa tampalasan.
Tiguwang apil batan-on puros nagpalubot sa tirano.
Errare humanum est apan puyra gaba ang nagpa-uto-uto.
Resbakan ang mosupak! Maoy gibagutbot sa ilang diyos.

Tiguwang apil batan-on gitorjak sa berdugong utganon.
Amahan kuno sa nasod, apan bugaw sa mga langyawng pikoton.
Rakrakan ang mosupak! Maoy kuro sa mga tagasunod.
Dayag gyod ang dinanghag ug damak sa mga taga nasod
Samtang sihag ang tingsi sa gino-o nilang tambaloslos.


Lolot is a freelance SEO writer based on Mindanao.

Paingon, Pauli (Part Two)

Fiction by | April 12, 2021

Sukad atong nagsugod og pang-hitch si Bernard sa piggery trak, si ‘Nong Boyet mura na pud niyag nahimong amahan. Mangumusta kada buntag, manghimangno samtang ga-drayb padulong eskuylahan, ug usahay manghatag og pagkaon kon adunay maikahatag.

Dako ra ang balay ni ‘Nong Boyet para sa ilang duha sa iyang asawa, apan sakto ra kini kung naa ang anak niya, si Alvin. Sa mga nakasangit nga litrato sa balay ni ‘Nong Boyet ra nakita ni Bernard si Alvin. Maguwang ra kini og usa ka tuig sa iya. Apan wala na niya kini naabtan.

Grade 1 pa si Alvin katong nalumos kini sa sapa dili lang layo sa ilang Sitio. Apan ang storya, ang lawas nga nakaplagan daw sa mga tanod dili gyod kuno kang Alvin. Mao ra gyod daw pormaha, mao ra gyod daw nawnga, apan sa tinuod, punoan ra daw kuno ni sa saging nga gipuli sa usa ka engkanto sa tinuod nga lawas ni Alvin.

Samtang dili mutuo ang asawa ni ‘Nong Boyet niini, samtang nadawat na niya ang kamatayon sa iyang anak, si ‘Nong Boyet, sa pila na ka tuig karon, halos kada semana gihapon muhapit sa sapa aron pangitaon ang anak.

Dala pirme sa tiguwang ang dulaang kotse nga i-regalo unta niya kang Alvin sa iyang birthday. Naghinaot siya nga mubalik iyang anak alang sa dulaang kotse nga dugay na niining gidahom. Dili sama sa dulaang gigama niya gamit ang kahoy og taklob sa botelya, ang dulaang kotse nga iyang gipalit mularga kung birahon paatras, mutingog, musiga. Sa pagkamatay ni Alvin, matandog ra kini sa butanganan kung dal-on ni ‘Nong Boyet sa sapa.

Ang hutoy ni ‘Nong Boyet mutunong ra sab sa agiik sa makina.

“Muundang na guro kog drayb, dong,” sulti ni ‘Nong Boyet.

“Ngano man, kol?”

“Maoy ingon sa doktor. Dapat hagbay ra daw kong niundang kay di daw pwede mahago. Pero ang ako sad, magtungok ra ko sa balay ani?”

“Musugot man kaha ang intsik?”

“Wa siyay mabuhat. Di man siya ang magpa-ospital nako.”

Naa na sila sa highway. Tulo ka kanto na lang og maabot na sila sa eskuylahan. Ang mga tao nga ilang malabyan manap-ong sa kabaho sa piggery trak. Magpahiyom lang si Bernard ug si ‘Nong Boyet.

Nalabyan nila ang mga classmate ni Bernard kauban ilang mga ginikanan, suot na ang mga toga, bitbit na ang mga garlands, ang mga buhok daw gitilapa’g kabaw.

Gipikpik ni ‘Nong Boyet ang abaga ni Bernard ug gitarong ang kwelyo niini.

“Ayawg katulog sa graduation, ha.”

Nagpahiyom ra ang batan-on. Gi-abrihan ni ‘Nong Boyet ang purtahan og ninaog si Bernard, nagpasalamat.

Mulakaw na unta siya apan nanampit si ‘Nong Boyet.

“Kol?”

Sa glove compartment, gikuha ni ‘Nong Boyet ang dulaang kotse nga pirmi niya ginadala sa sapa. Giabot niya kini kang Bernard.

“Wa koy garland, dong. Kini nalang. Padak-a ni. Pasakya dayon ko.”

Gidawat ni Bernard ang dulaan, nisaka og balik sa front seat, ug hugot nga gigakos si ‘Nong Boyet nga gapugong sa iyang luha.

“Sige na. Ma-late na ka.”

Nagpasalamat usab si Bernard bag-o ninaog. Nagbaktas kini padulong sa eskuylahann ug palayo sa trak, bitbit ang toga, ang kalo, ang kodigo sa graduation song, ug ang dulaang kotse.

Bag-o nisulod sa gate, nihunong si Bernard ug nilingi sa piggery trak. Sa front seat, nagpahiyom si ‘Nong Boyet ug nitando.

Naghulat ang tiguwang nga makasulod ang batan-on usa gipaandar ang sakyanan ug nilarga.

 

***

Reil teaches Calculus. He lives in Davao City.

Paingon, Pauli (Part One)

Fiction by | April 5, 2021

Bisan layo pa ang piggery trak ni ‘Nong Boyet, dungog na ni Bernard ang saba niini. Sa halos adlaw-adlaw niyang sakay niini sa upat ka tuig niya sa hayskul, nasayod na siya sa matag detalye sa saba sa trak: ang kagang-kagang ug tayaong makina nga daw gi-asthma, ang agiik sa ligid nga galugos og subida, ang iwik sa mga baboy sa likod sa trak.

Kon madungog na gani kini ni Bernard, dayon siyang mutindog ug mukapkap sa iyang bag aron siguraduong wala siya’y nalimtang gamit: notebook, ID, balonan, cellphone, ug guna nga hangtod karon ginapadala pa gihapon sa ilang maestro sa TLE aron gamiton sa gardening.

Apan karong adlawa, si Bernard wala nagdalag bag.

Iya rang gibitbit ang pinilo nga toga, ang kalo sa graduation, ug ang kodigo sa ilang kantahong graduation song. Mas puti iyang uniporme, mas plantsado ang slacks, ug mas sinaw ang hinirmang itom nga sapatos nga gisudlan pa gyod niyag kinumot nga dyaryo aron muiho ra gyod sa iyang mga tiil.

Nihunong sa iyang tungod ang piggery trak ni ‘Nong Boyet.

Ang katiguwangon ni ‘Nong Boyet daw sama sa gidrayban niining trak: gaubo, pasmado ang kamot, ug lugos makakita kung dili niini ipiyong ang mga mata.

Ang piggery trak dili iyaha. Panag-iya kini sa tiguwang nga intsik nga adunay dakong babuyan sa ilang Sitio. Apan sa pila ka tuig nga pagdrayb ni ‘Nong Boyet niini, nahimo na pud kini niyang personal nga sakyanan. Naniguwang na pud siya dungan ang trak.

“Oy, Bernard!” ni ‘Nong Boyet samtang gi-abrihan ang purtahan sa front seat. “Pagpagi nang lingkuranan dong kay na, maabugan ‘nya nang imong uniporme. Hastang puti-a ra ba.”

Nagkatawa si Bernard samtang gasaka sa sakyanan. “Maayong buntag, ‘kol. Mao na gyud ni ‘kol.”

“Mao na gyud ni, dong.”

Nilarga ang sakyanan.

“Nagdala ka’g pahumot? Basin manimaho kag tae sa graduation.”

Nangatawa silang duha. Ang katawa ni ‘Nong Boyet natapos sa usa ka hutoy.

Sa paglabay sa panahon, naanad na si Bernard sa baho sa mga baboy. Niadtong una, mao gyod ni ang rason nganong dili gusto makisakay si Bernard sa piggery trak bisan pa og ma-late na siya. Dili siya gusto munaog nga manimahog baboy. Apan nihit gyod ang sakyanan nga gaagi paingon sa ilang Sitio. Ang dyip pirme gahunong – bisan kahoy hunungan – hangtod mapuno kini. Ang habal-habal, dili mularga kon dili kini muguot, hangtod sa lubot na lang ang magpabiling gakapyot. Mahal ra sab mupakyaw. Maong napugsan si Bernard usa ka adlaw nga musakay sa piggery trak.

Si ‘Nong Boyet maoy namugos niya. Sa iyang kauwaw, ginapahunong na ni Bernard ang trak wala pa lang kini kaabot sa eskuylahan. Dili siya gustong makita sa iyang mga klasmeyt nga gasakay niini. Apan kinaugmaan, gihinungan na pud siya ni ‘Nong Boyet, ug kinaugmaan pa. Hangtod naanad na lang si Bernard ug anam-anam nga duol sa eskuylahan ipahunong ang trak.

“Mag-speech ka ‘dong? Naa kay honor?” pangutana ni ‘Nong Boyet.

“Wa ‘kol oy. Usa ra’y ribbon nako. Graduate.”

Nihutoy og katawa si ‘Nong Boyet.

“Duha diay. Naa pay ribbon sa parent diri o.”

“Basta nakagradweyt,” ni ‘Nong Boyet. “Muapas ra imong mama?”

“Maoy ingon niya, ‘kol.”

Apan sa tinuod, wala kasiguro si Bernard kung makaapas pa gyud ang iyang mama.

(To be continued…)

***
Reil teaches Calculus. He lives in Davao City.