My Girl

Fiction by | December 16, 2024

You said goodbye to Attorney Ramos when you clocked out. The solid pine doors of the firm were expensive, heavy under slim hands. But you are healthy. You take good care of your body. You pushed them open easily and walked over to your Jeep, a pretty white thing.

You drove to that gym in Sta. Ana, the one you don’t like. You always complain that it’s too crowded by the time you get off work. Still, you go inside, strip off your blouse, and swap the skirt for a pair of tight leggings. You grew up nicely, didn’t you? Wide hips, full lips, long legs. I could stare at you every day. I do.

You think getting a workout in, whenever you can after work, is more important than the long wait at the Pelotons. You’re such a good girl.

You were there for an hour and a half, your skin glistening with a thin sheen of sweat. I wanted to wipe it off you. I didn’t mind the wait outside your shower, listening to the water run until you were finished. There’s nowhere else I need to be. Want to be.

Fully dressed, you climbed back into your car, though you drove barely twenty minutes before you stopped at the grocery for salmon and kale. You paused by the produce section, eyes caught by the display. There’s nothing special about it. The mangoes were ripe, apples in a dozen colors. Next to them, plantains.

It’s funny, because you hate plantains, but you examine each bunch for the signs of perfect quality. When you were satisfied, you got back in your car and drove down to your house in Poblacion. When you got home, you tossed your keys on the coaster and your bag to the floor.

When you walked to the kitchen, your eyes passed over the place from where I watched you. Even if you knew about this window, it wouldn’t change anything. Even if this place was gone, even if you burned it, or cemented over it, I would find a way. I would follow you anywhere.

Your kitchen is a modern dream, sparkling white and costing a fortune. You fried your salmon and prepared your salad, and your husband will be home later tonight, so you put his serving in the fridge.

You have such a nice life. Such a good husband. But I know you still think of me.

I know, because you pulled out a pot and sugar to make minatamis, even though you make a face whenever the taste lands on your tongue. You always did. You served them up when they were done, soft and still steaming.

You brought two plates of it to the place from where I watch you. They’re the color of honey and just as sweet, though it was hard for me to taste them, back when I was sick.

You did the sign of the cross over your chest as you whispered, “I love you, mama. I hope you’re proud of me.”

You turned the lights off and retired upstairs. I love you too, my girl, and I am so proud of you.


Iona Mendoza is a 17-year-old senior high school student who has loved writing and reading since age six.

The Carpenter

Poetry by | December 16, 2024

Growing up, I watched your hands
build things—

tables and benches
for the kitchen,

and even the abohan
when it looked like it was falling apart.

Such things a father should have done.
But instead you

did all the work. Silently
you sawed dusty planks and hammered rusty nails

so that we had somewhere
to place our plates and our asses.

How did you manage
to make something sturdy

out of wood scraps?
I will never understand why

you chose this life,
only that you did what you could for us,

for me. Ma,
I watched you build things.

And if anyone asked someday
how I made myself,
I would tell them about your hands.


Domar Batucan Recopelacion is a graduate of Bachelor of Secondary Education (English) from the University of Mindanao Digos College. He lives in Matanao, Davao del Sur.

The Meet Cute

Fiction by | November 25, 2024

It was already too early in the morning by the time Henry finally hailed an empty jeepney to lead him straight home.

“South Villa, kuya?” he asked with the kind of urgency only possessed by someone who had 15 missed calls from their mom. The jeepney driver, a tired old man, squinted at him over his eyeglasses and mouthed a confused “Ha?” back at him. Henry repeated himself, much louder this time, and the old man nodded sharply. He rushed to the back of the jeep and sat near the exit as the vehicle started moving again, turning the corner of the demolished mall now barricaded in a blue reminiscent of its logo.

With a sigh, he ran his fingers through his wheat-dyed hair and patted the pockets of his gray sweatpants, double-checking that he had his house key and money. He was so screwed—his mom was going to kill him. He’d done this several times since junior high school, yet the fear never really went away. Grimacing, he glanced at the time on his phone; the lock screen blared “3:11 AM” back at him. The notification of his mom’s missed calls remained ignored over a photo of Taylor Swift on stage from afar during her concert that he had attended. His sharp features and the severe look on his face reflected back at him as he slid his phone into his back pocket. Henry rested his elbow on the open window, gazing out into the night.

The air whipped past his face, carrying a scent that churned his stomach and made him crave sinugbang manok. The jeepney’s speed straddled the fine line between slow and fast despite the empty road, the lack of urgency clashing sharply with his own mounting anxiety. He rubbed his bare biceps for warmth, trying to ward off the sudden iciness inside the vehicle. It dawned on him that he’d completely missed dinner.

Henry’s blood ran cold with worry. How could he explain to his mom that he’d lost track of time playing a competitive online game with friends at a computer shop? He knew her walis tingting and the spittle from her shouting would hit him first before he could even utter the word “Valorant”!

As he cycled through the stages of his anxiety, Henry turned away from the window and noticed another passenger sitting diagonally from him. The person was pressed close to the corner wall behind the driver’s seat, hunched forward with a bag clutched protectively against their chest. Though he would never admit it—to anyone, not even himself—Henry flinched at the sight. Cloaked in shadows, the other passenger blended unnervingly well with the darkness. Their pallid face and milky white eyes, fixed unblinkingly on Henry’s head, looked like a floating, disembodied face.

When they passed under a streetlight, Henry caught a spark of amusement in the person’s eyes. The man seemed to be watching him like he was a noontime variety show, probably finding the unconscious twist of anxiety on Henry’s face hilarious.

To mask his surprise, Henry quickly cleared his throat and let out a small laugh before saying, “Ah, hello po.”

The stranger’s eyes bore into him before they responded with a croaky, decidedly male voice, “Hi din.”

The stranger’s eyes bore down on him. “Hi din,” they croaked in a decidedly male voice. The man leaned back, his head turned toward the window as his eyes fell shut, the breeze tossing his voluminous, inky curls this way and that. His chest rose and fell slightly with the long inhales and exhales he let out.

Henry found himself staring at the stranger’s slim, pale face, lit up from time to time by the golden streetlamps they passed in succession. A faint hint of stubble shadowed his jaw, as if he were attempting to summon a 5 o’clock shadow to obscure the youthfulness in his features. He wore a ratty plaid shirt with the top few buttons undone. Around his neck hung a plain ID sling in a color Henry couldn’t quite discern in the dim light. He had on dark jeans so tight they clung like a second skin, paired with dirty imitation Converse sneakers. Resting on his lap was a deep blue JanSport backpack adorned with a scattering of button pins ranging from album covers Henry recognized as Taylor Swift’s stolen originals to a few school department mascots.

Feeling a little curious and eager to distract himself from the inevitable scolding awaiting him at home, Henry cleared his throat to catch the other man’s attention again before scooting a little closer.

“Late night sa school?” Henry asked, striving to sound casual.

The other man hummed in thought. “Maybe,” he answered blandly in a rough but quiet voice, then cleared his throat of phlegm and coughed. “Ikaw?”

“Same,” Henry replied with a grin. The other man raised a brow—not quite annoyed, but almost impressed, as if recognizing he’d been played at his own game. He rolled his eyes and huffed in disbelief, a hint of a small smile on his face. Henry let out a short chuckle before adding, “I’m Henry.”

The other man hummed in thought before replying, “Tony.”

Henry felt like they should probably shake hands, but seeing Tony’s hands wrapped tightly around his bag, he decided against it. The silence settled over them and gnawed at Henry like an itch he couldn’t quite scratch.

Breaking the quiet, Henry commented on Tony’s name with a Marvel reference. Tony retaliated with a quip about a controversial English king. The banter eased the tension, and soon they were trading remarks about why they were heading home so late.

“Para sa akin, may two types lang ata ng tao na nasa labas pa ngayon,” Henry claimed, holding up one finger. “Either you’re a student with a deadline,” he added, raising a second finger, “or pauwi ka from a bar. Which of the two are you ba, Tony?”

“Third option.” Tony raised three fingers before curling them back around his bag. “Graveyard shift sa call center.”

As Henry put his own fingers down at the realization, he nodded with a contemplative pout. “Alorica?” he guessed blindly. He wanted to continue their little game of modified 21 Questions, so he just said whatever came to mind.

The only response Tony gave him was a grin—too wide—as he sank back into the shadows. “It’s your turn to answer,” he said in a rough, reprimanding tone. Despite this, his voice remained consistently hushed compared to Henry’s, making the edge of his words seem softer. “Option one or two?”

“Alam mo naman siguro. I’m a student,” Henry replied, pointing at the dark blue sling around his neck, the university name printed on it. Tony’s eyes glanced down at his chest, where the sling rested. Henry felt the stretch of his tight black shirt as he preened under Tony’s intense, narrowed gaze. “College.”

Tony hummed thoughtfully—something he seemed to do habitually—as he considered Henry’s words.

“No offense, pero parang ka-edad lang lagi tayo,” Henry added before sputtering out an immediate apology. “Sorry if personal siya masyado, pero do you go to college din ba?”

The smile Tony gave him this time seemed a little shy, dimpling his cheeks. “UM. Dira lang pud sa Matina kay short walking distance ra sa akoang workplace.”

“Course mo?” Henry followed up quickly before pointing at himself and saying, “CompSci. Third year na.”

“Educ, graduating,” Tony replied proudly before coughing. “Sure jud ka na because of school ang rason nga late ka niuli karon?” he asked, his arms folded across his chest.

“Calling me out like a teacher already?” Henry teased and playfully raised a brow. He sighed and raised his hands in mock surrender. “Fine, you got me. I was playing with my friends sa comp shop.”

Tony let out a small, deep chuckle that had Henry’s stomach suddenly doing flips. Maybe it was hunger, or maybe it was something else. He couldn’t really say. “Unsa pud inyuhang ginadula didto?” the other man inquired between coughs, the narrow whites of his eyes contrasting with the darkness around them.

Henry gulped before answering, “Dota, League, Valo.” He paused, staring into Tony’s shadowed face, searching for some feeling that could only be found in the silence. “CSGO minsan.”

“Ga-dula pud ko’g CSGO, actually,” Tony said as an afterthought.

Henry’s enthusiasm was akin to a dog going into heat. “Really?!” He practically jumped in his seat, leaning in closer. “So, do you play Valo too?” He heard a distant rumbling, but it was probably just his stomach begging for any semblance of food.

Of all the reactions Henry predicted, he didn’t expect Tony’s wide grin to shift into one of genuine confusion. “Valo?” Tony echoed, a small frown creasing his brows as he let out a small cough. “Karon ra ko kadungog ana na game.”

Henry’s mouth gaped open in surprise. He’d never met anyone who played CSGO but hadn’t heard of Valorant. Then again, that might’ve been a biased opinion, considering all the CSGO players he knew were from Valorant. “Hindi mo alam ano ang Valo pero galaro ka ng CSGO?” he asked, his face showing borderline scandalized disbelief. Still, all hope wasn’t lost. “Feel ko magustuhan mo siya. Same-same lang din sila ng CSGO. Kinda.”

“Kinda,” Tony repeated with a slight tilt of his head, his lips forming a moue of curiosity. “Sige, i-try nako na if magka–free time ko.” The smile Henry gave him could rival the brightness of the absent sun.

They briefly discussed their preferred strategies in first-person shooter games, and Tony laughed in response before sharing his own, flashing a wide grin that showed more teeth. His eyes crinkled into narrow slits, as if there was an inner joke somewhere that Henry missed. The hair on the back of Henry’s neck stood on end, prompting him to place a hand over it. Distantly, he thought that if he saw the same look on anyone else, he’d be running for the hills. On Tony, however, it was almost endearing—he’d even go so far as to say Tony looked kind of cute.

At that realization, Henry felt something flutter in his chest. “If you ask me? Feel ko madaming students magkaka-crush sa ‘yo, sir.” He practically purred the word, playful enough to come off as a friendly joke but not desperate enough to reveal his own interest. Tony’s laugh, as he threw his head back, made whatever was fluttering in Henry’s chest spread its wings and multiply.

Tony’s laugh was punctuated by coughing fits until he was wheezing. When Henry tried to reach out, Tony merely waved a dismissive hand, so Henry just stared at him in concern the entire time. Unfortunately, the small bottle of water in his bag was empty, save for a few drops.

As Henry continued to explain the similarities and differences between Valorant and CSGO, their conversation somehow shifted from online games to Taylor Swift—an unexpected leap, but definitely unwanted. At the mention of her name, both men seemed more engrossed than before. If Henry had been hearing bells earlier, now he could envision their future all laid out before him. A chill of excitement ran down his spine at the thought.

“Swiftie diay ka?” Tony asked, giddy. “Wala kaayo koy friends na Swifties kay puro mga seryoso kaayo ang mga kauban nako sa school ug sa work.” The man seemed a little sullen after revealing this. “Mao siguro na di na kaayo ko updated sa iyaha.”

Henry looked at him, his expression softening at the thought that he might stand out in Tony’s world in some way. Unconsciously, he reached out and placed a hand over the other man’s wrist—noticing how alarmingly warm Tony was to the touch. “Well, pwede naman na ako ‘yung first mo.” The other implication of what he said hit him only after the words left his lips, causing him to flush and pull away as Tony flinched. His only saving grace was the dim light, which made it difficult for either of them to see the other clearly.

Tony bit his lower lip as he glanced down with hooded eyes at the spot where Henry had touched him, bony fingers brushing the area. Henry noticed how, at that angle, the shadows of light from outside fell across Tony’s face, highlighting the hollowness of his cheeks. The pronounced lines of his cheekbones gave him a severe look. Henry couldn’t help the sudden urge to halt the jeepney and take Tony to the nearest Jollibee, just to see him well-fed.

Henry cleared his throat, saying just about anything to ensure the silence between them didn’t cross the line into awkwardness. “A-Ah, sayang,” he said. “I still have extra friendship bracelets pa naman from when me and my barkada went to SG for her concert. Nagdala sana ako para mabigyan kita ng isa.”

Tony glanced up at him then, his blank and steady, half-lidded eyes meeting Henry’s. His brows creased slightly. It was as though Henry were speaking an entirely made-up language.

Henry merely continued. “What’s your favorite album of hers pala? I never got to ask.”

Tony shook his head, his features gradually shifting into one of interest. A lazy smile spread across his face. “Katong medyo bag-o niya na release karon.”

“Tortured Poets!”

“Reputation.”

They answered at the same time. Both seemed taken aback by the other’s response. Henry had never heard silence quite as loud as the one that followed. Tony’s features froze into a smile that lingered as the minutes ticked by.

Henry thought that perhaps Tony’s knowledge of Taylor Swift had fallen off somewhere during the pandemic, and he was simply too busy to stay updated on her life and new album releases. Maybe Tony was one of those Swifties who preferred to stay lowkey, and Henry didn’t want to be rude by pointing out the gap in his knowledge. Besides, both albums were technically black-and-white-themed, so it would be easy to mistake one for the other. Maybe Tony thought Taylor Swift had already released the re-recorded version of Reputation. Lord knows how many times Henry himself had been fully convinced the album had dropped, thanks to TikTok.

Tony coughed a few times into his fist, his knuckles practically bursting out of his skin, while Henry racked his brain for something to say next. Tony’s stomach rumbled again, the sound echoing upward like a plea to the heavens.

“Where ka ba magbaba?” Henry asked.

Tony hummed, his brows furrowing in contemplation before he answered, “South Villa. Ikaw?”

A familiar grin—an echo of the one he’d made earlier—spread across Henry’s lips. “Same.” He gave Tony a knowing look, hoping he’d pick up on it despite the dim light.

Tony narrowed his eyes at him, his lips parting slightly as if he were about to say something, only to press them flat again. Then his eyes widened slightly as realization dawned. He let out a snort before rolling his eyes playfully, one hand covering what seemed to be a wide smile.

Henry chuckled softly, turning away to hide whatever expression he was making behind one hand, his heart thundering in his chest. Through the small, rectangular hole separating the driver from the passengers, Henry caught the old man’s gaze in the rearview mirror. The driver stared at him intently over his eyeglasses, one brow raised in concern, before turning his focus back to the road. Before Henry could dwell on what that look might mean, his phone vibrated in his back pocket. Out of habit, he fished it out and answered, momentarily forgetting exactly why he shouldn’t have done that.

“Punyeta, ganina pa ko sige’g panawag nimong bataa ka!” His mother’s voice burst out, a mix of relieved frustration. “Hapit nako nanawag og pulis—pistiha ka! Abi ko’g naunsa na ka! Nag-gym ra man kaha ka pagkahuman sa imohang klase? Nganong dugay kaayo ka?! Kaulanon na!”

Her shrill, scolding voice sliced through his ear like a knife, forcing him to pull the phone away to a safer distance. He turned to Tony, who was now staring at him with unblinking eyes and a smile devoid of life. The intensity of Tony’s gaze felt like it was burning a hole straight into his face.

Henry’s mother continued to scold him as he began tapping a frantic rhythm on his thigh, his heart racing while his palms grew cold and clammy. “M-Ma, chill. Pauwi na ako, promise.” Henry tried to steady his voice but felt it breaking on the first consonant. “Nasa harap na ako ng, uh… school gani, ‘yung college. Ano gani ‘to? Christian Colleges?” He glanced out the window and saw only a dark sky unmarked by the twinkling of stars, wondering where his mom got the idea that it was about to rain.

“Bantay ra ka pag-uli nimo,” his mom threatened before hanging up abruptly. Henry pursed his lips, staring at his phone as the screen went black. His frazzled, wide-eyed reflection stared straight back at him. His throat suddenly felt dry, and he gulped.

“Sorry na you had to hear that…” Henry trailed off in embarrassment, stuffing his phone into one of the pockets of his sling bag. A sheepish smile crept onto his lips as he glanced down at his pristine white Fila shoes, then looked up to gauge Tony’s reaction. “Praning lang talaga si mom—”

There was misery in Tony’s coal-black eyes, emphasizing the dark bags under them.

“Uy, what’s wrong?” Henry asked, a little worried to see how ashen Tony seemed under another streetlight they passed by.

Tony seemed to snap back to himself before letting out a small smile. It didn’t reach his eyes this time. “Ambot lang, just missing my parents after overhearing your call. Siguro kay ako ra pud isa sa balay,” he shared, letting out a small, inauthentic laugh that ended with a single cough. “Na-miss ra siguro nako ang feeling na naay muhulat sa akoa pag-uli or naay pagkaon sa balay.” He paused, then sighed. “Especially kanang naay mu-alaga sa akoa if naa koy sakit…” The jeepney turned the corner near the police station box and continued down Diversion Road. Henry couldn’t look away from the other man. Tony turned his head to look outside before murmuring, almost to himself, “Kaulion ra gyud siguro ko sa amoa.”

Silence filled the space between them again, a persistent itch that Henry felt needed to be scratched.

“I can walk you home,” Henry offered, the words tumbling out of his lips before his brain could process them. “Pero if okay lang sayo, of course. I don’t want to make you uncomfortable, and I just want to know na you got home safely.”

Tony seemed to light up a little at his words, clearly amused by Henry making a fool of himself. “Okay ra uy, makauli man ko’g akoa lang,” he said, glancing out the window again with a timid yet lonely smile. He turned to Henry once more with a hum, as if he had just finished deciding on something. “But I’ll consider your offer and get back to you on that, sir,” Tony teased in his professional, customer-friendly voice. The next moment, Tony gave him a suggestive wink as they were illuminated by the passing light, causing Henry’s cheeks to flush and something to stir inside him—both from the implication and from being fed a taste of his own medicine.

The jeepney eventually turned into South Villa, the sky rumbling threateningly overhead. Henry selectively recalled his mom’s words about the incoming rain and wondered why she hadn’t just become a weather reporter if her sixth sense was that impeccable. As familiar houses and streets filled his vision, he wrapped one hand around the metal rail overhead. When he saw the street leading to his home, he knocked on the ceiling thrice. “Diri lang, kuya!” he exclaimed as the jeepney slowed to a halt.

“Diri na pud ko mubaba,” Tony remarked with a cough, slinging his backpack over his shoulder as he got off the jeepney. Henry followed closely behind and caught him by the elbows when he stumbled slightly. As he quietly worried about the unusual heat radiating from Tony’s skin through his shirt, he caught the faintest smell of something smoky. The scent reminded him of the sinugbang manok he’d been fantasizing about earlier, and his stomach rumbled along with the sky once more.

When they stepped off, Tony turned to look up at Henry.

“I guess I’ll see you around?” Henry asked, his voice tinged with hope, wishing Tony could see it clearly under the glow of the streetlamp.

Tony wrapped his slender fingers around the thick straps of his bag and squeezed tightly. Under the halo of golden light, he looked like a tormented saint set aflame. “We’ll see,” he replied in a neutral tone, glancing down to hide his expression before looking up at Henry through his long, dark lashes.

Henry fisted his hands around the thin sling of his bag, willing himself not to reach over and tuck a stray strand of curly hair behind Tony’s ear.

Henry watched as Tony walked off, his backpack pressed closely to his back. Tony glanced over his shoulder and gave Henry a little wave, an impish smile on his face before the streetlight flickered off. When it switched back on, Tony had already disappeared around the corner. Henry felt his heartbeat quicken, blood rushing to his cheeks as an unbidden smile tugged at the corners of his lips. He stood there, contemplating giving chase, watching the ghost of Tony’s silhouette with an enthusiasm akin to a man turning 18 and having his very first legal sip of alcohol. Considering that they had been practically neighbors all this time, Henry wished for any excuse to see Tony again—preferably very soon. He made a mental note to ask for Tony’s number the next chance he got.

Despite this, Henry couldn’t help but worry about Tony’s physical state. A part of him debated following to make sure Tony at least arrived home safely. When he finally decided to do so, quick footsteps tracing Tony’s path, he heard the jeepney driver calling out to him through the window.

“Hoy!” the driver exclaimed in a surprisingly booming voice. “Dong. Dong!”

Henry snapped out of whatever state he’d found himself in and turned quickly to the driver, giving him a look that clearly said, “Ay, nandito ka pa pala?”

“Ang bayad, dong?” the driver asked, his expression deadpan.

Henry blinked a few times before processing the old man’s words. He jogged back and pulled out a crumpled 50-peso bill from his pocket and handed it to the driver. Realizing that Tony probably hadn’t paid since they’d been so caught up talking, he decided to pay for him as well. “Dalawa kami, kuya. Sa Matina lang gikan. Estudyante.”

The driver paused with a small frown, smacking his lips before turning to collect Henry’s change from the dashboard. As he examined the coins a little too closely under the streetlamp’s light, he absently asked, “Hubog ka, dong?”

Henry raised a very sober brow, confused. “Ha?”

“Kakita pud ka sa iyaha?” the driver asked hesitantly, turning to him and handing over the change with narrowed eyes. There was something about the serious tone in his voice that instantly filled the air with tension, making Henry stare at the older man.

Henry figured the guy was probably just pulling his leg. What better way to say “Fuck you” to a passenger who almost forgot to pay than by giving them a little scare? It annoyed him a little, especially considering how good his mood had been. But then again, he really was at fault here.

“Sorry po talaga na nakalimutan namin mag-bayad sa ‘yo,” Henry apologized sheepishly, raising his voice a little so the old man could hear him clearly. “Na-distract man gud kami ba.” He wasn’t about to elaborate on the why and how of that statement, fearing that the darkening of his cheeks would immediately give him and Tony away. The old man definitely belonged to a generation that was less accepting of things they couldn’t fact-check using the Bible.

The driver gave him a level-headed stare. “Kakita pud diay ka niya. Katong nakaitom.” He paused, reaching up to adjust his spectacles with trembling fingers. “Basig nakisabay to’g uli nimo, dong, ha. Wala ra ka kabalo.”

The hushed words didn’t fully register in Henry’s head as the man continued.

“Daghan baya daw’g mga dili ingon nato dira dapit sa NCCC,” the old man shared ominously. Perhaps seeing the look of utter disbelief and skepticism on Henry’s face, the driver felt compelled to press his point. “Wala ko kahinumdom na gipara ko niya. Ikaw ra akoang pasahero na makit-an kay nibaba tong mag-uyab ug usa ka estudyante yata to na nakaitom pud sa McDo, atbang sa Ateneo. Wala na ko nihunong pagkahuman nimo’g sakay.”

Henry made a face—the kind one would involuntarily make while trying to mask the quiver of their lip and the goosebumps spreading down their neck. The stubborn, practical part of him argued against the validity of the old man’s claims, given his apparent age and declining senses. However, Henry couldn’t deny the unease creeping into his chest at the elder’s words. “Pag-sure, kuya, ba…” he trailed off with a laugh, unsure what to believe at this point. The old man’s face remained impassive, but there was a speck of fear in his eyes. That was enough for Henry to blurt out in self-defense, “Hindi man totoo yang mga multo.”

The driver smiled magnanimously before shrugging. He quickly made the sign of the cross and exhaled. “Ikaw gud bahala, dong. Basta kung ako pa sa imo, muuli na ko dayon. Pag-amping gyud.”

The jeepney drove off with a sense of urgency, leaving Henry standing alone under the streetlamp, his entire body going frigid. His heart raced as he broke out in a cold sweat. The eerie silence settled over him like a distinct itch of trepidation. If he turned around now, would he see Tony’s figure peeking back at him from behind the corner, proving the old man right? Henry gulped loudly, clutching the sling of his bag in a white-knuckled grip.

How the hell was Manong expecting him to walk home by himself after that?

Henry’s heart raced as his mind replayed pieces of his conversation with Tony, his body releasing adrenaline in a sudden fight-or-flight response. He thought back to the details they had shared and tried to make rational sense of the things that had stood out too much for him to ignore. It was his fault for being too trusting, even going so far as to flirt with a total stranger! The heat of blood slowly drained from his face as realization and understanding crept in, his mind finally catching up with the reality his senses had been trying to warn him about all along.

Suddenly, thunder boomed overhead with a crackle, causing Henry to jump in surprise and gasp aloud. The first drop of rain fell on his shoulder, and he told himself the only reason he was running home was because he didn’t want to get soaked. He hummed a tune to himself, but every note seemed to play in the key of Tony’s contemplation.

What did Tony have to contemplate? Did it have something to do with Henry? Not knowing the answer—and being unable to trust his own judgment to come up with one—only made the escalating paranoia in Henry’s mind worse. His mouth and throat went dry when he thought he heard a distant cough somewhere. He released a shaky breath and continued down the road, his eyes unblinking. The air somehow reeked of sinugbang manok. Henry felt sick to his stomach, just a second away from retching onto the cement.

Henry swore the droplets hitting the pavement sounded like footsteps inching closer, making him practically break into a sprint. He frantically reached for the key in his pocket and unlocked the steel pedestrian gate of their house, slamming it shut behind him. As he turned toward the door, completely forgetting the scolding he was about to walk into, he swore he saw the faint stretch of a shadow under the gate—as if someone was standing just outside, illuminated by the streetlamp.

Watching. Waiting.

Henry swore right then and there that he would never stay out that late ever again.


Jenny Manongas is an AB English and Master of Arts in Teaching English Language and Literature graduate from Ateneo de Davao University. She is a teacher by profession but is currently a Promotions Copywriter at Mapúa Malayan Colleges Mindanao. She enjoys reading, writing, and many more. If she had to elaborate on each of her hobbies, she could go on forever.

Love Handles

Poetry by | November 18, 2024

Yesterday, I hung the mirror
on the farthest wall.
From a distance, I watched myself
read every number on the scale:
too heavy, too small.
I lay in bed, starved,
and fed on your words instead.
The curves of my body were funny to you,
and I’m sure you did not mean to laugh,
but I refused to welcome
any more meals that day.

There is no child in my belly.
I do not need your blessing
to wish it gone in nine months.
I lift myself less than I could carry the weights.
I do not know the proper form:
too much, too little. Everything
aches when no one’s watching.
I hold only a pen, a recollection of your voice
telling me I was beginning
to walk with my belly first,
the mirror across the room.

I rolled the yoga mat back into the cupboard
and prayed for your regret.
I know I was warned to count my calories,
but, my God, I should not have listened—
I would not have remembered
the way you spoke that day.


James Bryan Galagate Delgado is a fourth-year Medical Biology student at Mapúa Malayan Colleges Mindanao and a fellow of the 2018 ADDU Summer Writers Workshop.

ang ibigin ka, amiel, ay isang pakikibaka

Poetry by | November 18, 2024

dahil ang pag-ibig natin ay hindi isang bulaklak na tumubo lamang sa isang paso, kundi sa isang banayad sanang lupa ng nabunturan, handog ng buwan at kamatayang mga banal. ngunit hindi natin kayang yumabong nang husto dahil sa mga damong hindi naman dito sa atin galing ang pagtubo. sa pagkakaalam ko, bago pa man dumating ang diyos ama, anak, at espiritu santo, may basbas na ng buwan at kamatayan ang ganitong uri ng pag-ibig. kinuha na lamang ang sustansya ng regalong lupain ng mga dayuhang halamanin na siyang nagpunla ng napakalubhang sakit na halos di na kayang agapan pa. kaya hanggang ngayon, naghihikahos pa rin tayong mamunga, nahihirapan pa ring magpalago, pinipitas na kahit hindi pa dapat.

ngunit hindi rito natatapos ang pagdami ng mga ugat, ang pagtubo ng ating tangkay, ang pagiging luntian ng mga dahon, ang pagpapahalimuyak ng mga talulot, ang pagpapadapo ng mga bubuyog. lalaki pa tayo. malalanta pa tayo. lalaban pa tayo.

pero sa ngayon, ang ibigin ka, amiel, ay mananatiling isang pakikibaka hangga’t may sakit ang lupain nating ito.


John Lloyd Sabagala holds a bachelor’s degree in Literature and Cultural Studies from the University of Southeastern Philippines.

Pahinungod

Poetry by | November 18, 2024

Nanampit ang kalibutan
nga imong saw-an
kining pribilehiyo.
Maong gibukhad mo’g dako
tibuok mong lawas,
gihubo ang sapot sa kataha,
gidupa tanang pangandoy.
Karon, gitugyan sa mata mong
manag-iya nianang wanang,
aron bisan ang adlaw
mouban kanimo pagdamgo.

Ang panganod molumba
sa yanong tinguha,
ug bisan sa layo mahidagsa,
pahinungdan pagbalik
ang maong yuta.


Mark Kenly Oray is a Bol-anon writer and educator. He was a fellow at the 3rd Sunday Club National Writing Workshop, the 21st Ateneo de Davao University Summer Writers Workshop, and the Agi Creative Writers Workshop. He is pursuing his master’s degree at the University of the Philippines Cebu. He was born in Bukidnon.

My Father’s Motorcycle

Nonfiction by | November 18, 2024

My father got into a motorcycle accident last Friday. He was on his way to pick up my mother from school. Another motorcycle ran into him at an intersection, and he was laid flat on the side of the road with his foot stuck beneath the pedal. He went home with swollen ankles but, thankfully, without any major injuries.

My father just got a new motorcycle last June. He bought it despite our family needing the money to pay for my little brother’s hospital bills. He insisted we needed a motorcycle because, otherwise, who would pick up my mother and siblings from school? My father has been unemployed for as long as I can remember. His only “job” is to pick us all up from school or work.

I remember hearing the familiar hum of my father’s motorcycle every time he returned home. I don’t know how his vehicle makes a distinct sound from the other vehicles passing by on our street, but I can accurately tell if my father’s motorcycle is nearing our gate.

That Friday afternoon, I did not hear the familiar hum of his motorcycle. I knew the reason because my mother told me about the accident in a chat. I remember thinking about how much we would have to pay for the hospital bills instead of what kind of injuries my father had sustained.

When my father came home, I watched him silently hobble toward the door. He was slightly limping because of his swollen ankles. His tanned skin was a little darker than usual, and his eyes were hollow with some leftover fear.

“What happened, Pa?” I asked, as if I didn’t know. “Are you okay?” and “Did you get hurt?” were what I intended, but the words wouldn’t come out of my mouth.

“I got into an accident,” he simply replied.

If my mother were here, he’d probably act like a baby and list all the pain he was experiencing. At that moment, however, it was just the two of us, and only silence hung between us.

I did not ask for further details, and he mumbled that he needed a hot compress for his ankles. My mother would have immediately boiled some water if she were here. In fact, she told me in the chat to do just that, but I didn’t, so I watched my father get up from his seat with the expression of a wounded animal and prepare the hot compress for himself.

“What happened to the motorcycle?” I asked again.

“It won’t start, so it needs repair,” my father replied.

I simply nodded. I’ve never ridden behind his motorcycle since he bought it. It was my silent protest against his irresponsible purchase.

I retreated into my room when the silence between us stretched uncomfortably. I felt my chest tighten with the familiar feeling of anxiety. I thought I wouldn’t care, honestly. But thinking about never hearing the familiar hum of my father’s motorcycle again made me wish I’d ridden behind it at least once.


Allyson Espaldon is a graduate of BA Communication Arts from the University of the Philippines Mindanao. She was born and raised in Davao but still has a hard time navigating her way through the city. She loves cats, Taylor Swift, and writing anecdotes about her friends and family.

Ang Ginatago na Balangaw

Play by | August 5, 2024

A One-Act Play


CHARACTERS

Chan – 19 years old, skinny, with bruises on his arms, wears a pink shirt, and black pants

Karlo – 23 years old, tall. Wears a green shirt and jeans

TIME

1 o’clock in the afternoon.

SETTING

At the plaza; a projector shows a video of a Pride event to act as a backdrop of the play; benches on the right side of the stage

THE PLAY

It’s a celebration of Pride, the venue looks festive and full of joyous people to celebrate the event. The event happens as Chan and Karlo are frantically running from Chan’s house to escape his father. The two of them arrive at the plaza to discuss Chan’s situation as a gay boy, and Karlo’s confession to Chan. Will Chan be able to accept Karlo’s confession and conquer his fears as a closeted person, or will he forever hide in the closet?

Karlo and Chan enter the stage running.

KARLO: Ali, diri ta!

The two stop at the left side of the stage.

CHAN: (Panting) Layo na ba ta?

KARLO: (Also panting) Murag nakalayo na man ta. Sa pikas dalan naman ning plaza, unya maglisod sad to imong Papa ug gukod sa atoa kay dili man to kalakaw ug paspas.

CHAN: Pero nabalaka ko ba, imo baya tong gituklod si Papa basin naunsa to siya didtoa.

KARLO: Nganong mabalaka man ka ato na kung wala pa nako to siya gituklod, iyana unta kang bunalan sa iyang sungkod? Maayo gani kay naabtan pa tamo bago to niya buhaton sa imo. Madungagan na sad na imong mga bun-og sa imong lawas. Worst case scenario, basin ma-ospital na gayod ka tungod niya.

CHAN: P-pero—

KARLO: Ayaw na lagi’g balik didto. Pasagdie na to siya, makatindog ra to kay naa man siyay sungkod. Nganong na ing-ato na sad siya? Unsa diay nahitabo?

CHAN: Nangayo man gud siyag kwarta sa akoa kay pangdungag daw niyag Red Horse. Unya wala man ko’y ikahatag kay bag-o ra ko nagbayad ug bill sa among kuryente kay pila na mi ka bulan walay suga. Dayon katong giutang nako na 500 ila Manang Arcing na pampalit unta nakog bugas ug mga de lata kay iyang gikuha, maong akong gikuha sa iyaha ug balik. Unya nasuko siya, iya kong gibunalan sa iyang sungkod.

KARLO: Kayawa jud ana imong papa oy. Wala na gani siya’y trabaho, dili pa jud niya undangan iyang bisyo. Layas na lang lagi didtoa, didto sa ka puyo sa akoang apartment.

CHAN: Dili ko, maulaw ko. Unya lisod sad kung biyaan nako si papa, walay muatiman niya.

KARLO: Dako naman to siya, Chan. Kung dili pa jud ko nimo pugngan, ako na jud na i-report sa pulis imong Papa aron matagam.

CHAN: Ayaw lagi Karl, ingon-ato lang man si papa kay hubog man gud siya.

KARLO: Kabalo ka, dili na ta maghisgot ana niya bi kay muinit ug samot akong ulo. Unsa diay naa diri karon?

(SFX: Loud cheers and blasting pop music)

CHAN: Pride party? Karon diay na?

KARLO: Tama! Mao man diay akong tuyo maong giadto tika sa inyoha. Dalhon tika diri kay naay pa ing-ani. I just have a brilliant idea, maayo pag kalimtan sa nato atong mga problema unya moapil ta diria.

CHAN: Unsay buhaton diria? Maulaw man ko Karl uy, yagit kaayo kog nawong.

KARLO: Ako man sad, ikaw daw modagan ug duha ka kilometro, dili ta manga- haggard. Ayaw kabalaka uy, wala naman na silay labot sa atoa. Maki blend-in lang gud ta. Ali didto ta sa tunga oh! Murag mas lingaw didtoa.

Karlo grabs Chan’s arm then proceeds to the center of the stage. (SFX: Dancing Queen by ABBA)

KARLO: (Grabs two Pride flags from his back pocket) Dara oh, imoha ning isa.

CHAN: Unsay buhaton ani?

KARLO: Wala, iwagayway lang, mao man sad ilang ginabuhat.

CHAN: Pero basin makita ko ni Papa—

KARLO: (Puts his finger on Chan’s lips) Shhh! Don’t say bad words! Maayo pag manayaw ta, kay gasayaw sad sila. Whoo!

CHAN: Uy, ulaw man, daghan kaayog tao.

KARLO: Mao nay lingaw! Tistinga ug sayaw ‘di ba malingaw ka.

Chan awkwardly dances. Karlo hypes him up. 

KARLO: Go, Channy! Go, Channy!

CHAN: (Laughs) Ikaw na sad sayaw! Go, Karlo! Go, Karlo!

Karlo dances. (Ambulant vendor selling water claps and cheers)

The music changes and Karlo and Chan end their dance.

KARLO: (Bowing) Thank you! Thank you!

CHAN: Hawoda nimo mosayaw uy!

KARLO: You should’ve seen yourself earlier! Hawod kaayo ka mogiling! Kinsa’y maka-imagine na ang ulawon na Chan, lagtik diay kaayog lawas! (Laughs)

CHAN: (Laughs) Ayaw ba, naulaw jud baya ko kay daghan kaayog tao. Pero tama ka, lingaw jud diay mosayaw.

KARLO: See? I told you!

CHAN: Salamat ah. Kung wala ka niadto sa amoa, wala nako kabalo kung unsa akong buhaton karon.

KARLO: Syempre! I like you baya!

CHAN: Ha?

KARLO: Ah—I like you as a friend! Haha!

CHAN: Ako sad. I like you too…

KARLO: H-ha?

CHAN: Buotan kaayo ka na amigo, maong gusto tika.

KARLO: Ahh… Amigo diay… Haha… Sige tara, didto ta sa kilid oh, naay mga bangko didtoa, pahuway sa ta.

CHAN: Sige, tara.

The two proceed to the right side of the stage. Chan sits on an empty bench while Karlo buys water from the woman selling water. 

KARLO: Papalita ko ug tubig te. Tagpila?

ATE: Tag baynte ra sir.

KARLO: Duha kabuok. Dili lang bugnaw ang isa.

ATE: Nia ra sir.

KARLO: Salamat po.

Karlo returns to Chan then gives the water to him. 

KARLO: Nia ra oh.

CHAN: Uy, salamat. (Drinks it)

KARLO: So, unsa nay buhaton nimo karon? Dili man sad pwede na mobalik ka unya kay basin wala pa nahuwasan imo papa.

CHAN: Ambot, basin motambay sa ko ila Manang Arcing.

KARLO: Di ba daghan sila sa ilang balay? Basin magguot ra mo didto.

CHAN: Bahala na, at least duol ra ko kay papa. Makita ra nako siya.

KARLO: That’s the problem! Duol ra ka, maong makita ra ka niya dayon! Basin suguron ka niya’g pinakalit didto.

CHAN: Pero—

KARLO: Basin nakalimot ka na silingan ra sad ta, unya ako ra isa sa akong ginapuy-an. Didto na lang sa lagi ka.

CHAN: Pero ulaw man. Magdungag-dungag ko sa imong gastos.

KARLO: Pwede man ko nimo bayaran kung naa na kay kwarta. Or, don’t pay me at all! Huna-hunaa  na lang na nagabakasyon ka sa inyong bukid, libre na tanan.

CHAN: Pero ulaw man jud oy.

KARLO: Sige ka, bastos baya daw ang mo-deny ug grasya.

CHAN: Nge, kalain! Sige oy, mosugot nalang ko, mamugos man ka.

KARLO: Ana ba! (Laughs)

CHAN: Nganong buotan man kaayo ka sa akoa, Karl? Dili man unta ta kapamilya, unya bago ra sad ka ningbalhin sa among purok, pero ing-ani ka makitungo sa akoa. Natingala na jud ko, kay akong mga amigo, dili man ingon ani ka galante.

KARLO: Wala pa diay ka kapansin?

CHAN: Na unsa?

KARLO: Gusto tika.

CHAN: H-huh? Ngano? Kanus-a? Nganong ako?

KARLO: Well, nakita tika tong cashier pa ka sa convenience store sa una. Gikan ko atog club, kauban akong mga barkada. Unya nagpahuwas ko kadyot sa Conve kay init na kaayo sa club. Paggawas nako, giatngan diay ko sa katong manyak na kastorya nako sa club. Iya kong ginapugos na mouban niya, pero dili jud ko gusto. Unya katong hapit na unta ko niya hilabtan, nikalit ra kag abot unya gibuyag siya. Naggunit kag cellphone while ga atik atik ug tawag sa police. Mao to nidagan ang manyak. (Laughs) 

CHAN: I-ikaw diay to?

KARLO: Hala, wala diay ko nimo na remember? (Acts hurt)

CHAN: S-sorry, Karl. Dulom man gud to na pwesto tong giadtuan ninyo. Wala tika naklaro. Unya daghan na kaayog nahitabo human ato na adlaw, nakalimtan na nako to siya.

KARLO: Okay lang, I figured out din naman na you wouldn’t remember me, kay katong nakita tika sa street sa akong apartment, wala ka nanagad sa akoa. Pero after that incident din, I started thinking about you, kay gusto unta tika pasalamatan. Hangtod sa nahimo tang friends kay sige ra ta ug kita sa dalan. Mao to, months have passed then I realized na dili na friends akong pag-tingin sa imoha. It’s much more than that. Sorry, dili ani nga confession akong gusto. Pero wala eh, kung dili ko muamin karon basin mawad-an na jud kog chance. Kaya, Chan, will you go out with me?

CHAN: (Acts silent for a moment) Karl… Kabalo baya ka na dili ko bayot sa atubangan sa akong papa. Kung makita niya na mag-uyab ta, basin patyon na jud ko niya.

KARLO: We can keep our relationship a secret from everyone else, even from your father. Dugay na ta nila nakita na sigeg uban. Dili na na sila matingala kung mag-uyab na ta.

CHAN: Mao na ang point, kabalo sila na bayot ka, ug kung sige na lang ta ug uban, makabantay na jud na si papa. Unya, mabalaka ko kay basin ikaw, iya na sad pasakitan. Dili nako mapasaylo akong kaugalingon kung mahitabo na.

KARLO:  I will endure it. And he won’t be able to do it for long kay kung iya man kong pasakitan or even kung ikaw, ipakulong man nako siya diretso.

CHAN: Karl, please… Dili pa ko ready…

Karl’s phone makes a sound. He opens it and the two of them see the content of the notification. 

CHAN: Unsa na, Grindr? Vincent, 24 years old, 300 meters away? Nganong naa kay ing-ana? Abi ba nakog… Ako imong gusto?

KARLO: It’s preparation.

Chan stands up, angry.

CHAN: Preparation? Para asa? So, kung sugton na tika karon, mangita pa diay kag lain? Unsa, i-two-time ko nimo?

Karlo stands up too.

KARLO: No! Dili ko mag cheat sa imoha! It’s a preparation in case dili ko nimo sugton karon. Mangita kog lain kay dili ko gusto ma hung-up sa imoha. Mangita kog rebound kay dili ko gusto mabuang ug huna-huna sa sakit. (Softly) And I guess, magamit na nako ni karon kay nakuha naman nako imong tubag sa akong pangutana…

CHAN: (Calmer) Pero… Mag-unsa ko kung mangita kag lain?

KARLO: Ambot! Wala ko kabalo! Nganong mag-uban pa man ta kung dili man diay ko nimo gusto mahimong uyab? Friendship na lang akong mahatag sa imoha kung dili pa ka ready. Ayaw kabalaka, papuyuon gihapon tika sa akong apartment. Dili man ko ing-ana ka bastos.

CHAN: Dili diay ka manguyab nako? Suyuon ko nimo kay para mahulog ko sa imoha?

KARLO: Kung manguyab ko, naa diay kasiguraduhan na sugton ko nimo? Pila naman sad ka adlaw, bulan, tuig, akong hulaton para magkagusto ka sa akoa? Halos one year na gani ko sigeg patagad sa imoha unya all this time, amigo ra diay imong paglantaw sa akoa. Sorry, sala nako nga nag assume ko. Abi naman gud nakog mutual atong feelings kay sige ra ta ug uban unya dili pa jud pang-amigo lang imong tagad sa akoa. Abi ra man diay nako. Pero, sige daw, ipasabot daw sa akoa kung nganong dili pa ka ready?

CHAN: Karlo, kabalo baya ka sa akoang sitwasyon. Dili pa ko open sa akong sekswalidad sa kadaghanan. Si Papa, mahadlok ko niya. Ang iyang ginapangbuhat sa akoa, murag constant reminder na dili jud ko niya dawaton kung makahibalo siya na bayot ko. Unya karon na nilayas ko didtoa, wala nako kabalo kung naa pa ba koy Papa maabtan kung mobalik ko. Please, Karl, ikaw na lang ang naa nako. Dili nako kaya kung pati ikaw, mobiya nako.

KARLO:  (Holds Chan’s hands) Dili man ko mobiya nimo. Amigo man gihapon ta. Naa ra ko diri kung kailangan nimo ug kastorya. Pero dili man sad pwede na ubanan tika pirmi unya moasa na pud ko sa wala. Ma double-dead ko ana, Chan.

CHAN: Kung sugtan tika makipagkita anang ka match nimo sa Grindr, mobalik pa ka sa akoa?

KARLO: Oo naman. Balikan pa man gihapon tika kay niana baya ko ganiha sa imoha na tabangan tika for the meantime.

CHAN: Pero kung willing nako magladlad ug mahusay na nako akong ginabati sa imoha, available pa ba gihapon imong kasing-kasing para sa akoa?

KARLO: Only time will tell, Chan. Dili ko gusto mohatag ug false hope sa imoha na mag-stay gihapon akong feelings sa imoha karon ug sa umaabot na panahon kay wala ta kabalo unsay mahitabo sunod. Basin kung ready naka moako sa imong sekswalidad ug mag enter ug relationship, lahi na nga tao imong gusto.

CHAN: Karl… Dili man ko ana, need lang jud nako ug panahon para ma-sort akong sitwasyon. Sugtan tika i-meet si Vincent, pero ayaw siya pilia please, hulata sa ko. Mao ra ani akong mahatag sa imoha na assurance.

KARLO: (Pinches Chan’s cheeks) Pasalamat jud ka, amigo ta ug naa koy gusto nimo. Dili tika maantos bisag unsaon nako ug pugong sa akong ginabati. Sige uy! Dili na nako imeet si Vincent. Lain sad kaayo kay mura tikag himoon ug baggage counter kay balikan pa tika human nako nakipagkita sa lain.

CHAN: S-sure ka? Dili man tika pugngan.

KARLO: Dili na lagi! Maypag mobalik ta sa party kay murag naay banda didtoa. Tara, maminaw sa ta.

Karlo puts his shoulder around Chan’s neck. 

CHAN: Okay, tara!

(SFX: Pare ko by Eraserheads) The two exit the stage. Music fades as the lights fade out.


Sophia Ann Pacaña graduated from the BA English-Creative Writing program of UP Mindanao in July 2024. This play is part of her thesis manuscript of plays about the LGBTQ community and their rights.