The Games I Play

Nonfiction by | July 12, 2021

The noon sun hangs high overhead, glaring into the canopy of my F4U Corsair as it hurtles along at 425 kilometers per hour. The noise of its R-2800 Double Wasp engine, a guttural howl, fills my ears as I cast my eyes around, trying to pick out the tiniest speck against the deep, dark blue of the sky.

I’m not alone. To my portside wing is an eclectic mix of aircraft, some of them American like mine. Others are British. Strangely enough, one or two Japanese planes–a Mitsubishi A7M Reppu perhaps–are on my side as well.

Below me, squadrons of attack aircraft arrayed in broad Vs roar towards their objectives, wing pylons laden with munitions, barreling through dark puffballs of flak and weaving through the streams of red and green tracers that rise to greet them.

Up ahead, I see the enemy. Tiny dots for now, and if I squint, I can make out the tiniest profile of their wings. One of them maneuvers, and streamers of white vapor peel off its wingtips.

I angle upwards, the engine roaring as I gain altitude. Some of my wingmen do the same, hoping to avoid flying head-on into the engagement and instead attack from above and behind.

The dots grow closer, details more defined. I begin to make out the sleek profiles of German Bf-109s with their square wings and Soviet Yakolevs with their tapered, almost triangular wings.

Approaching head-on was a mistake.

It might be strange to say that gaming is what got me into writing, but it did.
I’d always been a voracious reader. Over the years, my father had accumulated a veritable library of books and by the time I was born, the living room of my childhood home was lined with floor-to-ceiling bookshelves groaning under the weight of hundreds of books. I grew up with my own encyclopedia set. I stayed up all night to consume novels like Peter F. Hamilton’s Pandora’s Star, or the various anthologies of science fiction and fantasy I could pull from any one of the shelves.

But I was merely content with reading until I played my first computer game.
I was enthralled by the alternate history of a world where Albert Einstein invented time travel to assassinate Adolf Hitler, where the Soviet Union rose to challenge the Allies, and where a madman named Yuri created mind control to establish a secret base on the moon.

I spent time drawing tanks and stickmen duking it out amidst electrical storms and aerial bombardment instead of paying attention in class and taking down notes. I’d made my first friend that way too, and by December of that first year in elementary school, I had an idea on what to gift him for the Christmas party.
One of my teachers saw that I liked to draw and suggested that I make a comic for my friend. I labored for days over the comic, crafting a story where the Soviets had captured a weather control device and were planning to use it to level our hometown. It wasn’t the best, but in writing it, I’d gained an understanding.

I hope it’s still with my friend. It’s been a while since we last talked.
Fast forward to 2007. I’d found myself experimenting with a game called Battleships Forever. It was a small game, and one available for free. It wasn’t graphically spectacular, nor did its story delve deep. But the best thing about it was its gameplay. At its most basic level, players were assigned a fleet of ships to command and a variety of scenarios to test their strategies. It wouldn’t have been groundbreaking were it not for another feature: players could assemble starships, have them fight in a variety of battle modes, and share them over the internet.

The community was centered around that aspect of the game. Members pushed themselves and each other to innovate, to improve their skills as shipbuilders and artists–and when it became part of the forum’s culture to give background information and backstories to their creations–as writers.

Storytelling became part of the game as members formed alliances and rivalries, weaving their nations’ backstories together. We argued over inconsistencies, brainstormed plot and technical details, and sat at our keyboards with bated breath as we awaited responses to our roleplaying.

By the time the Battleships Forever community began to dissipate, I’d come away with a new appreciation for writing. I’d realized writing isn’t just part of a game; it could be the game. Stringing together parts to form a ship, executing a perfect maneuver to put myself in the perfect position to take out an enemy in a dogfight is just as mentally stimulating as putting words together to create sentences and whole paragraphs to illustrate a new world.

Nothing gets my blood running like flying by the seat of my pants, weaving through a hail of tracers or frantically ordering troops around as well-laid plans are put to rest by the first contact with an opponent. That same rush of adrenaline manifests in the revision process as holes are poked in my manuscript, as new opportunities are created and flaws are exposed.

There’s a sense of freedom, of limitless possibility hidden behind the intimidation of starting anew. It rings when I gaze over a landscape and see a city waiting to be born, sounding clearer and brighter as I lay down road networks and zoning, plan the routes of utilities, and finally see the first settlers move in.

I feel it too when I stare at a blank page, just waiting for my words–whatever they may be–to fill it up, waiting to be read, to be critiqued. To be challenged.

Tracers flash between my compatriots and the enemy. A Spitfire tumbles to the earth, smoke pouring from its engine. A 109 explodes into a pall of flame and smoke, its debris fluttering in the wind.

The British and Japanese planes are maneuverable, but flimsy. They can’t afford to get hit. So, they try not to. Engines scream, airframes creak and shudder, pilots black out as they duck and weave through a hailstorm of fire.

Movements begin to slow, maneuvers straightening out as pilots struggle to disengage, to recover lost airspeed and energy.

Energy. Potential energy. My wingmates and I have a lot of it, having taken positions several hundred meters above the furball. It’s time to convert. My wingmates nose down, beginning their own attack.

I see it, a pair of Bf-109s trailing smoke, one behind the other.

I pull my control to the right and the plane tips over, nosing downwards while I pull back on the throttle. Four-hundred-twenty-five kilometers per hour. Four-three-zero. Four-five-zero. Five-zero-zero.

A peregrine falcon, when it dives to make an attack on its prey, can reach an excess of 300 kilometers an hour. It attacks from above and behind, giving its target very little chance to escape.

I’ve left it choking on my exhaust. I plummet at six hundred kilometers per hour. My wingtips begin to flutter, a sign they’re about to break off. I’m close to overspeeding. But a reduction on the throttle balances it out.

If I do this right, I can take both out with one pass. I change the angle of descent, losing some airspeed while my altimeter’s downward tick slows. But now I’m behind the rear 109, and with a pull of the trigger, the F4U-4B’s four M3 20mm autocannons lash out, red tracers lancing through the air and into the German fighter’s tail and wing, blowing both apart.

But I’ve misjudged my angle, and the tracers flashing by his cockpit alerts the second German to my presence. He puts his plane on its wingtip and turns around while I flash past. To turn would be risky, sacrificing most of my speed to engage him. But it’s a risk I’m willing to take.

I flip upside-down, then pull back on the control, pulling the plane into a half loop, almost halving my speed even as I meet him just as he completes his own turn. I fire, he fires. Red and green tracers flash past each other. My plane shudders as its starboard wing is torn off in a hail of shrapnel, but I’m gratified to see his 109 disintegrate into its component parts.

Grinning, I reach for the keyboard and type “GG EZ.”

The reply: “F**k u!”


Bien Carlos Manzares is a couch potato with his head in future worlds. In the present world, he is a creative writing student of UP Mindanao.

Boys Can Wear Pink

Poetry by | July 5, 2021

Boys can wear pink
With socks up to the thighs
Wear anything you want,
It should be no surprise

Boys can bake cakes
And do garden work, too
Be feminine, be affectionate
Whatever suits you!

Boys can show weakness
Machismo is a myth
Go and cry when you want to
These emotions exist

Boys can like boys
And hold hands with them, too
You can choose your own gender
There’s more than just two!

Boys can do this
And boys can do that
The norms cannot dictate
How boys should really act

So the next time someone asks,
“What’s with that outfit, Paul?”
Just say “Boys can wear pink,
There’s no problem at all!”


Raphael Luis Salise is an incoming 4th year student of the BA English-Creative Writing program of UP Mindanao. He has been a fellow to the Davao Writers Workshop.

Sonny 2 Needs a Heart

Fiction by | July 5, 2021

SV2 – Log 1

 Today I started building Sonny 2.

I decided to call it Sonny because Tatay’s name is Sonny. It is 2 because Tatay is 1. Nanay told me that it’s inappropriate to name a toy after my father, and I don’t know how to tell her that it is not a toy.

Anyway, I didn’t sleep much last night thinking of what it should look like. I kept drawing and drawing until the bumps on my fingers started to look like little mountains.

I would like to write more but as I said, my hand hurts and if I continue, this will be unreadable.

Here’s what Sonny 2 looks like: he has a wig to protect his head from bumps, his body is an oven, tv, and washing machine to help Mama, and he has rocket boots to carry me and help me see Papa.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

SV2 – Log 2

            Tatay called us today, so I was again inspired to work on Sonny 2. I thought of Tatay’s voice a lot. He sounded big and strong. He could reach the moon and crush it in his palm like a nut. Sonny 2 will be the same.

            I thought of how to build Sonny 2’s arms and legs. I have to go to Manong Alonso’s motor repair shop to see if he has the materials I need. If not, I will have to find some wood and rebars and pipes and old bowls (for the shoulders and kneecaps) myself.

            I don’t really know where Tatay is. He says that’s the point. He’s a seafarer, after all. His trips last about a year usually, but sometimes it’s more.  He could be anywhere in the world right now. Whenever I ask him, he answers with a different place. He was in France. He was in England. He was in America. He was in some other places I don’t remember.       

Sonny 2’s new target completion time: When Tatay comes home.

 

SV2 – Log 3

            I went to Manong Alonso’s place today. He said he couldn’t give me any of the materials I needed for free. The prices were too much! I tried to negotiate and he said that the best he could do was around 500 pesos. I’ve never even seen that much money!

I asked Nanay if she could help me with the money but she said that we didn’t have any because school is about to start. I told her that I didn’t need to go to school this year and she got really really mad. I said I was sorry. I didn’t know how important Grade 5 was to her and I felt bad.

Tomorrow, I will rummage through the neighbors’ garbage to see if there’s anything I can use.

SV2 – Log 4

            My cousin Biboy visited me today. I showed him my plans for Sonny 2, and he said it was impossible to make. I punched him in the stomach and I cried because he cried.

            During dinner time, I thought of Sonny 2’s head. I thought of how he could think. How smart should Sonny 2 be? Surely not as smart as me. Sonny 2 is tall, so it might hurt if he bumps into the branches of trees.

            Note 1: Make Sonny 2’s head as hard as can be.

            Note 2: Don’t punch Biboy again because he is your friend and he was really hurt.

 

SV2 – Log 5

            Today is my birthday and Nanay cooked me spaghetti when she came home from work. She sells vegetables and fruits at the market. I invited Biboy because  he already forgave me for punching him the other day. Friends may fight with each other, but in the end, they will share a bowl of spaghetti.

            Today I worked on Sonny 2’s stomach. My biggest problem was this: I knew how inconvenient it would be if he had to pee, but I wanted him to still be able to eat delicious things.

            I spent the rest of the day thinking of what to do.

            Note: Teach Sonny 2 how to cook so that Nanay wouldn’t have to work as much.

 

SV2 – Log 6

            It is Tatay’s birthday today. I borrowed Nanay’s phone to call him. I was sad that I didn’t have any gifts for him so I showed him my drawings of Sonny 2. He laughed so much. I think he really liked it. He said that he can’t wait to come home to play with Sonny 2 and me.

            Here’s another problem: Sonny 2 needed a heart. With it, Sonny 2 can move wherever he likes. He can love whoever he wants. Tatay once bought me a book called The Wonderful Wizard of Oz and the Tin Man also needed a heart. I thought of making a silk-and-sawdust heart, but I didn’t want to lie to Sonny 2. He needed a real heart.

            Note: Find a heart for Sonny 2.

 

SV2 – Log 7

            Note: Find a heart for Sonny 2.

 

SV2 – Log 8

            It’s been a month since I worked on Sonny 2. I didn’t know where to find a heart. I was afraid that I was wasting my time.

 

SV2 – Log 9

            Today Tatay called again and said he won’t be able to come home this year. Nanay said that Tatay had to work so that I could go to school. That’s okay. I haven’t found a heart for Sonny 2 yet, anyway.

            That’s okay.

 

SV2 – Log 10

            Last night I dreamt that I was Sonny 2’s heart.

            It was hot inside his chest but it wasn’t hot enough so that I would burn. I was so happy that Sonny 2 could finally move. We went to France. We went to England. We went to some other places I don’t remember. I met Tatay and he rode Sonny 2’s back. I was so glad to see him be able to rest.

            When I woke up, I cried because it wasn’t true at all.

            Still, I will continue working on Sonny 2 until Tatay comes home. I asked Biboy and Nanay to help me and they agreed. Friends and mothers are great like that.

            Note: I am Sonny 2’s heart.

***

Ivan Khenard Acero studies creative writing in the University of the Philippines Mindanao. He has been a fellow to the Davao Writers Workshop and the Amelia Lapeña Bonifacio Writers Workshop. An animated version of this story can be viewed here.

OK-OK

Poetry by | June 28, 2021

Okay ra na. Mawala ra ning
pandemya. Basta mag-ampo ta
kanunay kang Lord. Ayaw nag pangutana
kon kanus-a kutob ta magluklok
sa panimalay. Okay ra lagi na.
Agwanta lang mintras nayagaw pa
ang mga halangdon nga maka-porsento
sa atong buwis. Aynag palag parehas
sa mga tawo nga nagbagutbot sa gobyerno.
Okay ra na, basta ayaw paminawa
ang kasaba diha sa balita. Pek News na
kon puros negatibo! Hunahunaa nga buhi pa ka.
Pagbantay-bantay na lang anang birus
ug pasagdiha ang mga dinakpan ug gihikawan.
Okay ra na. Pasalamat lang ni Lord
nga naa pa kay ikagasto. Pag-Tiktok nalang
kaysa mabulabog sa mga nag-aligutgot ngadto
sa nag-manyanita. Maypa magdagkot kag dolomite
unya ihithit kini sa pinunit nga tambutso.
Pakapini dayon og kerosene para mental health.
Okay ra na. Pagpuyo lang diha kaysa malakip ka
sa statistiko sa nagkasakang mga kaso sa nagsakit
ug nangapanaw. Kon duna kay angay pasanginlan,
kadto nangaipit sa kapit-os kay sigeg gawas-gawas,
labi na tong gapatagad sa ilang plakard.
Okay ra na. Sala bitaw nga matawo og kabus
matod pa ni Santo Bo Chanezs. Iya-iya lang ta
sa pagpaningkamot. Sa sigeg bagutbot,
ingnan pa lang salot, terorista o komyunista.
Okay ra na. Pati ang hinungdan nga naabtan
tag pandemya—gumikan sa Amô nga gatila
ug gatsupa sa dragon sa Tsina—malubong ra
gihapon sa kalimot. Okay ra gyod na, basta
tumani lang ang yawyaw sa Amô sa Palasyo
susama sa atong pagbinut-an kang Tatay God.
Tan-awa imong mga idol nga silang Mocha,
Maharlika, BanatBy, Badoy, Thinking Pinoy
ug Sasot. Nagpahayahay sa ilang lawak.
Gabulatik sa kamaayo ni Tatay Amô,
daw gatsupa sa iyahang lagay diha
sa mikropono nga ilang gisibya-sibya.
Ilaron ra ka anang mga doktor ug iskolar
sa nasod. Aynag palag ni Amô, Baboy,
ug Tiki sa Palasyo. Magpatoo lang
sama nilang Senado Sotsot, Gago, Boto
ug uban pang sipsip sama ni Sekretaryo
Kiki da Turd. Okay ra na, basta pagluhod
diha sa inyoha ug pag-ampo. Ma-okay ra lagi ta.
Timan-i gani, inig hanaw sa pandemya,
mag-party-party ta sama sa manyanita
ni Tubol Desinas, ang berdugong butakal.
Apan sa higayon nga mangamustahay ta
sa usag-usa aykog pangutan-i
kon tawo pa gihapon ta.

***
Lolot  S. Pana-ad is a freelance SEO writer based on Mindanao.

Sa Mata ng Manlalakbay

Poetry by | June 28, 2021

Kinukumutan ng mga ulap ang kabundukan
Gumagalaw na sa parang ang magsasaka
Matatayog ang mga punong sumasaludo sa pagsikat ng araw
Dahan-dahang minumulat ng kalikasan ang pusong dayuhan sa ganda ng lupang tinubuan

Sa isang poso, masayang naliligo ang mga mama
Tanging saplot ay mga korto,
mga ulo’y nababalot sa bula

Sa mga kabundukan, matagal ng nakatago
ang mga gintong aral
Pilit inuungkat ng diwa ang maririkit na alaala

Hayaan na munang ang damdamin ay maglakbay
Hayaan na munang sukatin ng mga mata ang haba ng bughaw na langit
Hayaan na munang sukatin ng musika ang layo ng iyong destinasyon

Minsan lang dalawin ng tula ang iyong diwa
Huwag ibulong sa hangin ang mga salita
Iukit sa pahina ang mga dasal
Habang ikaw ay patungo
sa may dakong walang kasiguraduhan.


Rhealyn Callao Pojas is a writer based in Davao City.

Bagyo

Poetry by | June 28, 2021

Ilang mga hapon na ring humahagulgol ang kalangitan.
Nilalamon ng mga halamang uhaw
ang bawat buhos
hanggang sa mapatid at maubo sa dami.

Nakatingin lamang ako.

Ninanamnam ang mababagsik na patak
at malalamig na pag-ihip.
Hawak-hawak ang mainit na tasa ng tsaa. Kasabay nang bawat paghigop
ay ang pangungulila
sa misteryong hindi mapagtanto.

Napatingin sa Mama ko.
Pag-ibig ang nasilayan.

Mahinang nag-uusap sina Papa at Lola.
Pag-ibig ang narinig.

Napalilibutan ako ng pagmamahal.
Isang uri na kailanma’y hindi mababayaran. Sa kahit anong paraa’y hindi matutumbasan.

Nabubuhay ako sa pagmamahal.
Nilalanghap at dinadanas sa araw-araw.
Mula sa simula
at sa darating
na huling pagsilip ng liwanag.

Subalit

Tila inaasam pa rin
ang ‘di mawaring
matalik na misteryo.

Siguro’y hihintayin na lamang—
paglipas nitong bagyo.


Si Eric Michael ay nagsusulat mula sa pagitan ng liwanag at kadiliman ng Iligan.

 

 

Kasalanan Ka Man sa Mata ng Iba

Poetry by | June 28, 2021

Anak? Ako magkaka-anak?
Hindi, hindi!
Isang malaking kasalanan, isang malaking kamalian.

Kailan? Kailan ba nagsimula?
Ah, oo nga pala!
Isang gabi, puno ng kalungkutan ngunit dala niya’y kasiyahan.

Sino? Sinong ama?
Siya, siya ang ama!
Isang duwag na nang-iwan sa gitna ng gulong kinahantungan.

Sino? Sinong tatanggap?
Sa iyo, sa ating dalawa!
Isang malaking unos tingin ko’y di kayang lampasan.

Kasalanan, ikaw nga ba?
Ah, tayong dalawa!
Isang kahihiyan sa pamilyang matagal nang hindi natin nararamdaman.

Iyak, bakit ka umiiyak?
Malupit, oo malupit!
Isang mundong handa kang husgahan ngunit mailap kung magmahal.

Anak, kasalanan ka man sa mata ng iba,
Sa akin isa kang biyaya.
Wala mang sagot sa mga tanong di na bale basta nandyan ka.

Kasalanan ka man sa mata ng iba,
Anak sana ay magmahal ka.
Maging matapang ka, maging busilak ang kalooban.

Anak? Ako magkaka-anak?
Oo, oo!
Isang malaking biyaya, isang malaking kasiyahan.


Princess Nel-Ann Olo is a language graduate passionate about studying language, reading, and writing. She is from North Cotabato but is now living in Davao City and works as an educator.

Kalinaw

Poetry by | June 28, 2021

Chant: Dyandi……

Dali na, Maghugpong kita magpadayon
Dali na, Tinuod nga kalinaw pandayon

Nisubang na ang adlaw
Nitalidhay ang bangaw
Misilip sa bukid

Gasa nga bidlisiw
Nihalok sa tanaman’
Bahandi alang sa tanan

Chorus:
Lihok katawhan
Uswag Mindanawon
Gugma’g panaghugpong
Makigbisog, padayon
Lihok katawhan
Uswag Mindanawon
Gugma’g panaghugpong
Tinuod nga kalinaw pandayon…

Chant: Dyandi……

Bag-uhon ang kahimtang
Itanom ang binhi sa kagawasan
Ibayaw sa langit ug yuta
Kaangayan tinubdan sa kalinaw
Kaangayan tinubdan sa kalinaw
Kaangayan tinubdan sa kalinaw
Kaangayan tinubdan sa kalinaw

 

Dali na, Maghugpong kita magpadayon
Dali na , Tinuod nga kalinaw pandayon

Nisubang na ang adlaw
Nitalidhay ang bangaw
Misilip sa bukid

Gasa nga bidlisiw
Nihalok sa tanaman’
Bahandi alang sa tanan

Chorus:

Lihok katawhan
Uswag Mindanawon
Gugma’g panaghugpong
Makigbisog, padayon
Lihok katawhan
Uswag Mindanawon
Gugma’g panaghugpong
Makigbisog, padayon
Lihok katawhan
Uswag Mindanawon
Gugma’g panaghugpong
Makigbisog, padayon
Lihok katawhan
Uswag Mindanawon
Gugma’g panaghugpong
Tinuod nga kalinaw pandayon…

Coda:

Kaangayan tinubdan sa kalinaw
Kaangayan tinubdan sa kalinaw
Kaangayan tinubdan sa kalinaw
Kaangayan tinubdan sa kalinaw


Neil Cervantes is from Tagum City. He is a writer and a musician and promoting drum culture. He won 2nd place in Tunog Mindanao 2013