My High School-College Friendship Frustration

Nonfiction by | March 31, 2013

It’s that time again: that time when I try my best to just close my eyes and drift off into the emptiness of oblivion. Somehow, I cannot manage it. The days now seem to pass by much quicker than I want them to. My time in high school is about to end and honestly, I don’t know what to feel anymore.

When I’m at school, I am overwhelmed by my emotions and I feel like screaming all the time. I’m like a volcano, brimming with molten lava, just waiting to explode.

I often get lonely in my confusion. I then try to think of college and the new life that awaits me there. I have built up this illusion that my life would be better once I get there. I’ll have freedom, independence, and girls. But I cannot escape the fact that my high school friends are not going to be there with me.

They keep on saying that they will visit me but I have my doubts. And I know it will not be the same as before.

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One New Message

Fiction by | March 31, 2013

“Teka. Wait. Ka-text ko pa si Mama…”

Every time I hear those words, I instantly remember my high school days.

Back then, when I said said such a line, especially in front of my barkada, they would immediately assume that I was a mama’s boy. Often, this would be followed by a series of I-have-an-overly-protective-mother jokes. They put on high-pitched voices and went: “’Nak, kumain ka na?” “Yung likod mo baka basa. Magbihis ka na.” and “May pulbos ka d’yan sa bag mo. Ipinasok ka kagabi habang natutulog ka.”

In high school, I recalled that I raged against my mother when she snooped in my email account. I was irritated when she kept asking about my whereabouts, who I hung out with, and if I would have dinner with the rest of the family. Her questions would always be followed by her imperative need to know what time I would be home.

I grudged against her every time this happened. Sometimes, it left me wondering when I would actually be allowed to make decisions of my own and finally exercise my God-given free will. Thoughtlessly, I often ignored my mother’s text messages and even refused to answer her calls, just for the heck of it.

But that was before. In a span of just over 6 months, things have changed drastically and guess what?

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Samurai

Poetry by | March 31, 2013

The professor wanted to wield a katana
many years ago. But even then, he understood
that the world has long since moved on
and that a sword is a thing of the past.
He adores olden blades that are kept undrawn
inside their scabbards. In his sleep, he dreams
of himself in battle, unsheathing a blade
that is as bare and as inconsolable as rain.
He crosses swords with a hundred warriors
in the heart of his moonless slumber. Later,
when he awakes, the professor can only
jump out of bed. Outside, the sun is vengeful
and daylight shoots through the window
like ancient arrowheads.

—
Allen hails from the Creative Writing program of UP Mindanao. He is a fellow of numerous regional and national workshops, and is a regular contributor to this section.

Paperback

Poetry by | March 31, 2013

paperbackI wish I could write
novels
and carve my
name
into the eye
of the censor
I would liquefy
themes, plots
into pools of
vitriol
turn dialogue
into a stalemate
of devices
literary and historical
populate
a heresy
as rancid
as truth
and leave
as a wake
in the river
of others’ immortality
my own
lengthy eulogy

Chuck is born and raised in Davao. He is a graduate of ADDU and now works for a TV station here.

The Power of A Smile

Nonfiction by | March 24, 2013

I was going round and round Iligan City on endless errands and I was dead tired. I was already oblivious to my surroundings, and even to the repugnant smell of the market place I normally complained about. All I wanted at that time was to go home and rest. The jeepney I was riding in was caught in traffic when this beggar hopped on board. He wiped our shoes with a dirty piece of rag. Afterwards, he waited for someone to spare him some coins, or leftover food, or anything that would be freely given. Nobody moved. Nobody even looked at him directly. I only peered at him from the corner of my eyes. I have this self-imposed rule of never giving money to beggars. I gave them food if I had some, but I carried nothing that day. The beggar waited for a long while then went away disgruntled.

This scenario was not new to me. I had seen this repeated many times. When I lived in Metro Manila for almost six years, I experienced worse episodes than this. The beggars in the street of the metropolis made me feel either disillusioned with the rampant poverty in the country, or ashamed that I could not do more for those who needed help. In both cases though, I always felt thankful that I was not the one begging for alms on the streets.

However, this particular mendicant here in Iligan brought back memories of a chance encounter with an altogether different sort of street urchin.

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Secondhand God

Poetry by | March 24, 2013

I
try to imitate
a beautiful budding rose
from nature
using a piece of paper
with my bare hands.
I
form mountains and valleys
like a god.
I
paint ripples
on a canvass
breaking the stillness,
collapsing into entropy.
I
have created beauty.

—
Alex John is a 3rd year student of Chemical Engineering in Ateneo de Davao University.

Confessionally

Poetry by | March 24, 2013

comfort
comes not in the form of sweat
nor in movement
but in the creases
of pillows and sheets
white as lies
where we carve
our secret reverie;
no dosage of metaphor
when it comes to you
and the heat
of your lips
pressing
against mine
and the brace
of your body
warm as your skin
and your breath
and the touch
of your fingers
on the course
of my spine
and the need
to confess
and plead guilty
in between
our legs
entwined.

—
Gino is a graduate of Xavier University Ateneo de Cagayan. He was fellow of the 2010 Davao Writers Workshop.

My Mami

Nonfiction by | March 17, 2013

Valentina Peña is my maternal grandmother, but within our family, we always call her Mami. In all the years I’ve known her, no one has satisfactorily explained to me the genesis of that appellation. It may be a reference to the delicious chicken noodle soup she makes, or more probably, it is an affectionate, but misspelled alternative to the word “Mommy.” No one really knows. No one really minds. Certainly, Mami doesn’t mind.

Like most grandmothers, Mami is kind and caring. She is a petite lady, standing just a little above 5 feet tall. She has that beautiful Filipina morena coloring with a head of lustrously dark, brown hair, and skin bronzed by the sun. Her almond shaped eyes give others the impression that she has Chinese blood. Her smile is often wide with her teeth slightly discolored. She loves to cook and is very good at it too.

My earliest memories of Mami was from the age of 4. I knew I spent a lot of time in her house watching television, or playing with clothespins on the living room carpet. Every 3 in the afternoon without fail, Mami always served me a small plate of warm cheese sandwich, sliced into triangles. After I ate that, I would ask for seconds… and thirds… and fourths and more. I had a voracious appetite even then but Mami did not mind one bit. She would whip up batches of sandwiches upon request until I was full — or until her supply of bread and cheese spread ran out, whichever came first. She always gave me her wide smile whenever she saw me stuffing myself with her cheese-filled snacks.

Upon reflection, I may also have kept asking for her sandwiches for the sake of seeing that smile.

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