Indulging in a Cup of Black Coffee

For JMS

I have had to come up with
various techniques to stop
myself thinking about how
to savor this hot and bitter
black coffee without
thinking about jaded thoughts;
the never-ending persuasion
of warm faces, of me moving
to their department ,
-wanting me to stop thinking
because there’s none to doubt about.
or the steam faint vapor waking like
loin girding shouts of unfamiliar souls
whom I only spoke with during a phone call,
or the barren poems and jumbled
metaphors, thirsting, waiting
for me to pen their existence down
on a piece of cold
and crisp white paper; to let them live
in a majestic universe
they deserve to own.
or the clear vision of you
and that girl walking in the rain,
sharing one umbrella,
trudging a journey, leaving footprints of bliss
stirring me to sudden melancholy,
or the lurid idea that stimulates me
to think , to go on
to taste the reality of fortune, of a ‘yes’
though my heart always
sip and drink down a caffeinated ‘no’
because in a pure, honest and
absent minded stupidity, I want
to stay because
I love you.
And this is the only catharsis
the sole epiphany
I have kept and own.
To continue
loving you,
To stay,
to stop thinking
and start finishing
a cup of
hot and bitter
black coffee.

—
Henrietta Diana de Guzman is a graduate of Creative Writing at UP Mindanao. She was a fellow for poetry at the 2009 Davao Writers Workshop and at the 2nd Sulat DULA: Playwriting Workshop at Xavier University (Ateneo de Cagayan University). Some of her works have appeared in SunStar Davao and the Best of Dagmay anthology.