Characters:
Teodor/Teddy – middle-aged guy, meat vendor and butcher
Ardong – meat butcher and delivery man
Lydia – meat vendor and mother of Ji-ji
Ji-ji – daughter of Lydia, twenty-two years old
In a market. Two meat stalls face each other on stage. A space in between serves as the pathway. One yellow light bulb hangs in each stall. Lydia and Jiji’s stall is on the left side. On their table: a weighing machine on the right side, chopping board at center, meat slabs. Jiji stands behind the table slicing meat. On her left side, Lydia spinkles water on the sliced meat slabs. Ardong stands in front of their stall putting meat slabs on the table from his big plastic container. Teddy’s table is on the right side. His table is bare except for the wooden chopping board and the butcher knife.
It is four-thirty in the morning.
Teodor ties the apron around his neck. Afterwards, he ties a towel around his head. He pours water on the surface of his table and wipes it with a clean rug. His voice has a clear accent of Bisaya, always mispronouncing the words.
Teodor: ‘Dong, have you see body of Gary in the dump site?
Ardong: Ha?
Teodor: I said, have you see body of Gary sa dump site?
Ji-ji: Kita ba daw ka ni Gary sa dump site?
Ardong: Aw! Si Gary, imong prends? Patay man gyod daw to ‘dor! Kita ka?
Teodor: O. One look you not know him.
Lydia: Unsa daw Ji-ji?
Ji-ji: Unang tan-aw pa lang daw ma, di na ka kaila niya. Ngano ‘nong?
Lydia: Maryusep! Pirting gubaa sa nawong, Teodor?
Teodor: Grabe ka-luspad. Violet already. If you there, you not like the smell. Like dead rat!
Lydia: Didrat? Unsa kuno ng didrat Ji-ji?
Ji-ji: Ilaga gud. Mura kunog patay nga ilaga ang baho.
Teodor: Whoever do that, crazy! Kadungog ka Ardong nga naa siyay nakaaway dinhi? Enemy ba?
Ardong: Wa man. Ikaw ra may so-od ato.
Teodor: Of course. Of course. He become my faithful customer already.
Lydia: Huy Teodor, undangi na kuno mi ana imong pag-iningglis bi. Wa gyod biya kay angay. Si Ji-ji pa hinuon, angay-angayan pa. Di ba ‘nak no? Sampoli gud na si Teodor, Ji-ji!
Ji-ji: Pasagdi na lang gud na si ‘nong Teodor, Ma, oy.
Ardong: Bitaw ‘nang. Mura mag wa pa ka maanad ana niya. Mag-usa ka-bulan na na si Teodor sigig iningglis dinhi.
Lydia: Ay, da! Hilas kaayo paminawon oy.
Ji-ji: Nganong close man kaayo mo ni Gary ‘nong?
Ardong: Bitaw ‘dor. So-od lagi kaayo mo? Mura mog bespren ba. Wa pa man to kaabot og usa ka-bulan dinhi.
Teodor: Ay, long story. It will take forevermore. Pero okay, I tell you.
Lydia: Kahilas gyod paminawon oy. Huy Ji-ji, taronga nag hiwa ang karne diha ha. Dayon ingna ko unsa ng ginapang-ingon ni Teodor diha kay maayo man ka, makasabot og iningglis.
Ji-ji: O lagi, Ma, oy. Unya ‘nong?
Teodor: You know he go here to the market every afternoon, di ba?
Ji-ji: O. Nihapit gani to siya dinhi namo una niyang sulod diri sa palengke. Kahinumdom ka, Ma?
Lydia: O kaayo. Ingon bitaw ko nimo iningglisi og tarong aron mupalit sa ato.
Teodor: I recall it. Then he go to me paghuman no?
Ji-ji: Nahutdan na biya tag spareribs ato ma ha. Unya kay mao man tong gipangita niya.
Lydia: Bisan pa oy! Kung gi-ingglis-ingglis to nimo og tarong – gilingaw-lingaw ba – mupalit gyod tog karne nato. Tan-awa, nasuki na hinuon ni Teodor.
Ardong: Sa imo siya nakapalit og spareribs ‘dor?
Teodor: Yes. Gary say I have meat that he look for so he buy to me.
Ardong: Unsa?
Ji-ji: O Ardong. Sa iya ningpalit si Gary!
Ardong: Buenas eh!
Teodor: Yes, very lucky.
Lydia: Sus, kasayang gyod, Ji. Kung kahibalo pa unta ko mag-iningglis, ako nay naglingaw-lingaw atog storya. Jamming-jamingon ra man intawon na silag istorya oy! Mura man kag di ka mao ana Ji-ji! Kagwapa nimo. Sus!
Ardong: Ah, kuyawa gyod ni si ‘nang Lydia oy! Nipalit na siguro to nimo ‘nang kung ikaw nag-iningglis-ingglis ato niya.
Lydia: Kay abi lagi nakog diskartihan na to aning Ji-ji!
Teodor: What do you say to him, Ji?
Ji-ji: Ana ko, “Hello sir. You want fresh meat? This is fresh sir. Only 195 pesos per kilo sir. Very cheap sir.”
Ardong: O, awa nang. Nag-iningglis man diay si Ji-ji.
Lydia: Nag-iningglis lagi, wa man pakapinig, “Yo ar hansam so mats sir! I layk yo so mats sir! Hansam! Hansam! Yami!” Mga inga-ana unta ba aron maganahan sad! Nagkurog man hinuon ang tingog.
Ji-ji: Saba diha, Ma, oy. Nakulbaan ko ato.
Ardong: Na-timing-an lang gyod to ‘nang nga nahutdan na mog spareribs maong kay Teodor na lang to nipalit.
Teodor: I remember he buy one-half kilo only spareribs. And then, kadto, he always come to buy to me every afternoon.
Ji-ji: Taga-hapon gyod biya siya gaadto nimo nong no, para mupalit rag spareribs. Ginabinlan biya nako to siya.
Teodor: Yes. But sometimes he buy meat. Porkchop. But his favorite, spareribs.
Lydia: Unsa daw Ji-ji?
Ji-ji: Gapalit sad daw si Gary sa iya og porkchop. Di lang daw spareribs.
Lydia: Pila may baligya nimo sa iya?
Teodor: 95 pesos half-kilo spareribs.
Ardong: Kabarato gud?
Teodor: It’s okay for me. I know he come always every afternoon.
Ji-ji: Bitaw ‘nong. Swerte kaayo ka kay nakasuki kag kostumer pareha ni Gary.
Teodor: But now, Gary is gone.
Ji-ji: Asa ka kadungog nga gi-salvage si Gary ‘nong?
Teodor: I hear the news from Badong. Kadto bang gasuroy og pandesal every morning. I’m shock after he tell me, you know. I even say it’s not good joke. Very bad joke, di ba? Pero the boy look serious. I look his face, very serious man gyod. So I tell him, “Asa?” Dump site daw. Kana bang unahan sa bidyokihan nilang Tonet.
Ardong: Unsang orasa nimo nahibaw-an ang balita?
Teodor: All around 8 PM.
Ji-ji: Gi-adtoan gyod dayon nimo ‘nong no?
Teodor: Of course. I worry my friend. Basig false alarm ra sad diay from Badong. So I go there fast. Ah! Many people all around pero I go, very close, very close, very close. I see Gary man gyod. My friend. Dead.
Ardong: Grabe man gyod daw pagpatay sa iya, ‘dor.
Teodor: Yes. Many wound in the body. His arm. His back. His stomach. Even the face. His mouth. I look to him and I don’t know what I do. Blood in the face pay imo!
Lydia: Unsa kuno Ji-ji?
Ji-ji: Nagkadugo daw ang nawong ma!
Lydia: Aw alangan! Ikaw daw dunggabon, di ba ka magkadugo!
Ji-ji: Mao gani, Ma!
Lydia: Mao gani!
Ardong: Unya nakaduol ka sa iyang lawas ‘dor?
Teodor: Of course. Even if many people all around. Even if langsa, because Gary is my friend, I go to him. You know, he live alone.
Ardong: Iyang alahas’dor? Nakit-an nimo didto?
Ji-ji: Taga-asa diay si Gary ‘nong?
Teodor: That’s the problem. Whoever do that, I know he just want Gary necklace, Gary gold watch. Gone everything. I look everywhere, nothing.
Ardong: Gusto ra gyod diay to siya kawatan.
Teodor: You know people like them. If they come abroad, puti, speak English, they are rich. Hay, I not believe Gary dead now. I think that is the reason. Gary rich, so they kill him.
Ji-ji: Bitaw ‘nong no? Mga istambay ra tingali gatripping ato niya ba.
Lydia: Kabalong daghag mga adik-adik dinhi. Wa sad diay nimo siya gipasidan-an nga di magsuot-suot og mga alahas diri, Teodor?
Teodor: I tell him! Many times if he buy meat here. I tell him, “Do not wear your necklace everywhere in the market.”
Ji-ji: Asa diay siya gapuyo ‘nong?
Teodor: But he always say, “Don’t worry. Nothing will happen to me.”
Ji-ji: Taga asa si Gary ‘nong?
Lydia: Nating hapen? Mao na ron iyang nating hapen. Patay na hinuon siya!
Ardong: Kumpyansa ra sad to siya. Mao na.
Teodor: He renting apartment. Velasco apartment. You know that? Not really ugly apartment for him. He live there. Ah, three house start the gate. Left side.
Ji-ji: Taga dinha ra diay siya gapuyo? Kanang naay duha ka dagko nga iro?
Teodor: Yes. Germam sheper and bulldog.
Ardong: Nakaanha na ka sa iyang puy-anan ‘dor?
Teodor: Of course. Very clean house even if no wife there.
Lydia: Nakasulod na ka sa iyang balay, Teodor?
Ardong: Nganong niadto man ka didto?
Teodor: Okay. You have many question. One by one only. Okay?
Lydia: Nigara pud nig iningglis o.
Teodor: Once upon a time, he is late so he not come here that afternoon. Di niya makuhag sayo ang karne. So he command me if it’s okay that I bringing the meat in his house. He tell me the address already. I say okay to him. Six o’clock, I go there. He wait for me, he say to me. He let me inside the house.
Lydia: Unsa kuno, Ji-ji?
Ji-ji: Tsk.Gipasulod siya sa balay, Ma! Dayon ‘nong?
Lydia: Mao ra to? Kadaghan sa giingon ni Teodor, gipasulod ra diay siya sa balay!
Ardong: Ayaw kaguol ‘nang. Wa sad kaayo ko kasabot.
Ji-ji: Puryagaba mong duha oy! Malangan daw si Gary maong gisugo niya si Teodor nga ihatod ang karne sa iyang balay. Alas sais daw siya niadto didto. Naghulat daw si Gary. Nisulod siya sa balay. Kasabot? Unya ‘nong?
Lydia: Aaah. Tan-awa Ji-ji? Kung nasuki pa nato na si Gary, kita unta tong nakasulod didto!
Ji-ji: Ambot! Unya, unsay gibuhat ninyo sa sulod ‘nong?
Teodor: I sit on the chair and he let me try that – what is the name? Not beer. Color red. Red. Red wan? Red wan? O lagi, that’s the name. Red wine! He tell me, “Drink that.” I drink it.
Ji-ji: Syet. Gipa-inom ka niyag red wine ‘nong?
Teodor: Yes.
Ji-ji: Kamahal ana!
Lydia: Ang unsay mahal, Ji-ji?
Ji-ji: Gipainom siyag red wine, Ma. Kanang pangsosyal nga murag beer.
Lydia: Sus! Kung gilingaw-lingaw lang gyod unta to nimo og istorya, naka-inom na sad siguro kog red wan!
Ji-ji: Kapila ba ta ka ingnan ma nga nahutdan tag spareribs ato maong wa siya nipalit nato! Wa sa atong karne iyang gipangita atong hapona!
Lydia: Pero daghan pa kaayo kag higayon nga makig-istorya niya. Kung gingisi-ngisihan unta to nimo basta muagi-
Ji-ji: Patay na siya, Ma. Patay na. Kasabot ka? Unsa may pulos anang pagkyaw-kyaw nimo diha. Unya ‘nong? Samok kaayo ni si mama.
Teodor: Red wine, very different from Red Horse! So I tell him, “Is this water in your place?” Ay, very many bottle like that in the cabinet. But he laughing only. “You can say that,” he say to me. You know? Sometimes I don’t understand him. He don’t understand me also. But we are friends, you know?
Ardong: Tama bitaw si ‘nang Lydia, Ji. Kadaghan nimog higayon nga storyahon si Gary.
Ji-ji: Bitaw. Daghan bitaw. Kita kag gasuot na kog aryos nga dagko kaayo. Salamat ani akong mama nga pasuoton gyod tag dagko nga mga aryos! Kay mas sexy kuno tan-awon ang babye kung dagko og aryos.
Lydia: Siksi bitaw! Mao biya nay ginapangita nila!
Ardong: Ang dagkog aryos?
Lydia: Ang siksi oy!
Ji-ji: Hala sige Ma, buhi-a og balik si Gary! Kay kidhat-kidhatan ko to para nimo!
Ardong: Ambot ninyong duha. Unya ‘dor?
Teodor: You hear his voice already Ji, di ba?
Ji-ji: Kadungog na ko.Gwapo gyod siyag tingog ‘nong. Gwapo pa gyod og hitsura.
Lydia: ‘Gwapo pa gyud og hitsura.’ Unya wa gyod naningkamot.
Teodor: I even ask him, “Gary, you work in radio?” He look to me. Nalibog tingali. So I say again, “You? Working? Radio?” I pointing him. Then he laugh. I don’t understand why he laugh, but I laugh na lang sad. He say, “No.” And he laugh again.
Ji-ji: Wa to kasabot nimo ‘nong, maong nagkatawa na lang.
Teodor: But you know, it’s easy understand his English. Kabalo na man ta nila di ba? How they speak? Others very fast! But not Gary. You understand him English. And then, very simple person. He wearing only t-shirt all the time.
Lydia: Unsa kuno, Ji-ji?
Ji-ji: Kabantay gyod lagi ka sa iyang mga sanina ‘nong?
Teodor: And he don’t have big stomach. Different from others like him I see walk in the street, uban pa nila ng mga gamayng mga babaye nga nawong og katabang, you know? Ay, I always see that. But my friend, different.
Lydia: Unsa daw kuno, Ji-ji?
Ji-ji: Gwapo daw og lawas si Gary!
Ardong: Gwapo og lawas.
Lydia: Gwapog lawas pero wa kasukol sa mga gadunggab niya!
Teodor: Many people kill him, not just one. If it’s one or two, he kill them already.
Ji-ji: Lami bitaw tog lawas si Gary.
Ardong: Asa pareha kalami ani, Ji? (shows off his muscles)
Ji-ji: Para sa imong lawas na lang sad? Maayo pang maghikog na lang ko! Kabaho anag karne! Naa pa na imong ilok nga usahay di makailag tawas!
Ardong: Maayo ni nga lawas kay makabuhi nimo. Makatabang pa sa imong inahana mu-alsa og mga karne.
Ji-ji: Paghilom diha. Mas makabuhi pa to nako si Gary kay dato to!
Lydia: Unya kay patay na man to ron? Kung naningkamot pa unta kag maayo pagagad niya samtang buhi pa siya, nakasuroy na unta mong duha sa SM!
Ardong: SM ra man diay, Ji! Dad-on ta ka didto!
Ji-ji: Si mama na lang dad-a o. Wa pa ni kaadto didto!
Lydia: Paghilom oy. Ya-ya ra ka, Ardong.
Teodor: Why I forget this! Ji, he call me Teddy. Yes,Teddy. He say to me one day, “Ok, I’ll call you Teddy from now.” Teddy. Beautiful name no? Gary give that name to me.
Ardong: Tiddy? Mura kag kano ‘dor!
Teodor: I also laugh after he say that. You know, like teddy bear. Teddy bear big belly. Teddy bear wear apron. Teddy bear meat vendor. Teddy. Gary. Sound the same, right?
Lydia: Kinsay Tiddy Ji-ji?
Ji-ji: Si Teodor ma oy. Teddy nay tawag ni Gary sa iya. Ganahan sad ka ‘nong?
Teodor: Very okay. I like it, Ji. Teddy.
Ardong: Tiddy diay. Unya mao na nay itawag namo nimo ron?
Lydia: TIDDY? Kahilas paminawon oy! Bagay ra nimo ang Teodor oy!
Teodor: I don’t force you call me Teddy. I only say Gary calling me Teddy.
Ji-ji: Sosyal nga ngalan, nong. Time sa. Ikapila na man diay ka kaadto sa iyang balay?
Teodor: Three.
Ardong: Katulo na ka kaadto didto? Unsa may gibuhat ninyo sa iyang balay?
Ji-ji: Ga-inom-inom ra mog red wine?
Teodor: Bisag unsa ra gud. O. Ga-inom mi ato. Di man to dalo. Muhatag man gyod to.
Ji-ji: Unsa may ginabuhat ninyo didto, nong?
Teodor: Kami? Wala ra gud. Storya-storya ra gud.
Ji-ji: Storya-storya ra? Atik sad oy!
Teodor: Lagi. Storya-storya ra lagi. Unsa man diay? Aw, one time, he let me sleep there.
Ji-ji: Unsa? Natulog ka sa iyang balay?
Lydia: Unsa, Teodor? Natulog ka sa iyang balay? Kabaga ba nimog nawong?
Teodor: No Lydia oy! He say to me I can sleep there. He say we watch movie.
Ardong: Nagsine-sine mo sa iyang balay.
Teodor: In the room –
Ji-ji: Sa iyang kwarto gyod ‘nong?
Teodor: No! Aw, yes. I-i-it’s b-because –
Lydia: Sa iyang kwarto mo nanan-aw og sine? Kangil-ad ba ana!
Teodor: No! H-he don’t have tv in the sala.
Ji-ji: Kung gibalhin na lang diay ninyo sa sala ang tv?
Ardong: Unya, unsay inyong gitan-aw?
Teodor: Ha? A-a-h –
Ji-ji: Hala, di katubag si ‘nong Teodor. Unsa kaha ni ilang gitan-aw?
Ardong: Bold no?
Teodor: Ha? U-unsa gud ng bold oy. D-d-di oy.
Ardong: Sus, mangatik pa gyod ni si Teodor oy. Bold no? Pila ra gud pag-ingon ana. Lalaki bitaw ka, di ba?
Lydia: Bold? Sila ra duha, magtan-aw og bold? Kalain ba ana huna-hunaon! Duha ka lalaki magtan-aw og bold sulod sa usa ka kwarto!
Ji-ji: Nong?
Teodor: D-d-dili oy. Ha? Unsa, Ji?
Ji-ji: Gaduda na gyod ko nimo ‘nong ba. Ambot lang gyod.
Teodor: Ha? U-u-unsa ka diha, Ji-ji?
Ji-ji: Dugay na gyod ko kamatikod ‘nong ba. Di lang gyod ko sigurado kung tama ko.
Teodor: A-a-ng unsa gud, Ji-ji? Pagtarong gud diha.
Ardong: Time sa Ji. ‘Dor, nagtan-aw ba gyod mog sine sa kwarto?
Teodor: H-h-ha? Nagtan-aw lagi!
Ardong: O. Ayaw kakulba ‘dor.
Ji-ji: Lahi gyod, Ardong. Lahi gyod. Di ko mutoo nimo ‘nong.
Teodor: Bahala gud ka diha.
Ji-ji: ‘Nong, bayot ka?
Teodor: Ha?
Ji-ji: Bayot ba ka ‘nong.
Ardong: Huy, Ji-ji. Buang. Kalalaki anag nawong o!
Ji-ji: Naa bay gatadtad og karne nga ingglisiro? Wa ka kabantay, Ardong? Sige na lang nig iningglis si Teodor ba. Unya so-od pa gyod kaayo sila.
Teodor: Ngano diay og mag-ingglis-ingglis ko? Nakagusto na diay ko niya?
Ji-ji: Obvious kaayo ‘nong oy! Nakagusto ka ni Gary.
Lydia: Unsa?
Ardong: Tinuod ‘dor? Ganahan diay kag ing-ani nga lawas? (touches his bare chest) No? No? Ikaw ha!
Teodor: Buang ka, Ji-ji! Buang ka!
Ardong: Tiddy ha. Kini diay imong gusto no? (goes near to Teodor, gets his free hand, and puts it forcefully on his chest) Kini no? No? Kini ‘dor no?
Teodor: Undangi na, Ardong. (frees his hand from Ardong)
Ardong: Ha? Ha? Undangi? Sure na ka ‘dor? O basig gusto pa ka dinhi (leads Teodor’s hand to his crotch)
Teodor: Uno ron. Basig madunggaban ta hinuon ka diha! (Frees his hand from Ardong)
Lydia: Mao diay, Teodor ha! Atik-atik ra diay kag palalaki-lalaki. Bayot diay ka! Huy, wa kay angay oy!
Ji-ji: Nakagusto diay kang Gary ‘nong? Kaluod oy.
Ardong: Unya si Gary?
Lydia: Maryusep! Tingalig bayot sad to!
Ji-ji: Si Gary? Di oy! Di ko mutoong bayot to! Mupatol siya aning Teodor? Di ma. Di to bayot si Gary. Kini si Teodor ang gusto mutilaw kay Gary!
Ardong: Sus, Teodor! Bayot diay ka? Magsige pa kag uban-uban og inom namo, gaatik-atik ra diay ka nga lalaki ka. Gidamgohan na mi nimo no?
Teodor: Paghilom diha Ardong! Paghilom mo ha.
Ji-ji: Bayot ka ‘nong. Admit it!
Teodor: Bahala mo. Bahala mo.
Ardong: Sulti-an nako ang uban nga bayot ka Teodor. Aron ka mauwaw. Kalalaki nimog dagway! Pagkaluod huna-hunaon! (exits)
Lydia: Dali-a na na diha Ji-ji! Hay, Teodor, di gihapon ko katuo!
Ji-ji: Naluoy kong Gary ma! Giilad-ilad ra diay siyang Teodor. Maayo na lang sad oy kay namatay na sad siya. Aron di na siya hilabtan ni Teodor.
Lydia: Mao!
Ji-ji: Wa ka maghuna-huna kay Gary ‘nong Teodor? Kaluoy sa Amerikano. Wa intawon siya kahibalo nga na-inlab na diay ka niya.
Teodor: I think I visit Gary today, and look his body.
Ji-ji: Unsa ‘nong?
Teodor: I visit him today.
Ji-ji: Bisitahan nimo? Og iingon nga nahigugma ka niya? Aw pwede sad. Di na bitaw to kadungog. Basig sumbagon pa hinuon ka ato kung buhi pa to. (laughs)
Lydia: Kinsa kahay mag-asikaso sa mga nabiling gamit ni Gary?
Ji-ji: Aw kinsa pa, Ma, si Teodor.
Lydia: Huy Teodor, hatagi mi atong red wan ha? Bantay ra ka. Hatagi gyod mi.
Teodor: Yes. (Pause) But I visit Gary first. I visit him first.
—-
Aaron J.P. Jalalon is taking up Creative Writing in UP Mindanao. He was a fellow in the Davao Writers Workshop this year.
This was both hilarious and profound. I loved it!
Haha…aaron!Kumusta? nalingaw ko…you very good ha..hahaha…tiddy very well…